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Don't Stress the Holidays!

Wow, the holiday season is upon us once again! 2008 has flashed by my eyes like a whirlwind. I don't know about you, but it seems like the older I get, the faster the years go by! With this in mind, this month I'd like to encourage you to take more time to really enjoy life, count your blessings, and enjoy the upcoming holidays.

Question: What is Holiday Stress?

Holiday related stress happens around the time of the major holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Years Day. Some indications of holiday stress are:

Depression- you feel sad, down, moody, anxious and unable or not wanting to cope or participate in holiday events. You may view party invitations as unwanted. You may feel confused or overwhelmed with your perceived responsibilities. You may feel the urge to drink more than usual or use a substance to help you feel better.
Anxiety- you feel nervous. You may feel scatterered and unable to cope in your usual fashion. Little things become gigantic annoyances. You may feel the urge to drink or use a substance to calm yourself down. Please note that it is "normal" for people to indulge in alcohol a bit more around the holidays as alcohol is socially accepted, legal, and usually part of the festivities. A red flag that you are abusing alcohol is the thought that you are overwhelmed before you take a drink. Or when you drink way more than normal for a few days in a row.
Mood changes- Does your mood change rapidly and seemingly without cause? Do holiday pressures casue you to become irritable? If so, yo are probably suffering form holiday stress.

Question: How do I cope with Holiday Stress?

Here is the good news. Holiday stress is totally beatable and you can overcome the bad feelings by a simple change in perspective. Start by remembering the true meaning of the holidays we celebrate. Thanksgiving was originally celebrated as a day of thanks to God for the abundant harvest. That is why even to this day, we celebrate Thanksgiving with a huge feast with friends and relatives. Are you thinking about cooking a big meal but dreading the time, expense, meal planing etc? Change your attitude and change your life! Rememeber: Thanksgiving is a day of thanks. What are you thankful for? Develop the Gratitude Attitude and begin to count your blessings. If you don't think you have any, let me remind you of this. While we are dreading cooking a Thanksgiving feast, there are people in parts of the world who are absolutely starving to death. One way to give and show thanks ( as well as avoid cooking the big meal) is to take all of the money you were going to spend on food and donating it to a world hunger organization. Your generousity will help others and make you feel better about yourself. Then go and enjoy dinner at Aunt Sue's with a feeling of real thanks.

Question: What else can I do?

Develop the meaning of the holidays for yourself. Many people resent the commercialization of the holiday season and respond by doing what is meaningful to them. What are your gifts and talents and how can you use them to help someone else? Gift giving got you down? Give the gift of time, give the gift of yourself this holiday season. Some suggestions: volunteer at a local homeless shelter , collect toys for children, volunteer to take elderly people shopping or help them shop on line. Local animal rescue agencies always need volunteers. Remember, the goal is to reduce the stress you feel. Do whatever you need to do to not be overwhelmed. Instead of standing in long lines at the mall, stay home and bake cookies, brownies, pies, or whatever you make well and give those as gifts. Do not force yourself to rush into the fray. Think creatively, with others in mind, and with the attitude of gratitude. You may even decide to do absolutely nothing except sit and meditate on how truly blessed you are.

My Gratitude List

Lastly, I'd like to share with you what I am thankful for this year. I'm truly blessed and thankful for everything I've been given. I am thankful for the answer to a prayer I prayed many years ago.I live in a new state and I thank God for leading me here and why He did. I am thankful for becoming Mrs. Southeastern Michigan United States this year. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to lead women into recovery from substance dependence. It was such as honor and privilege to affect that many people in a positive way. I am thankful for my daughter Candallin, she has been a blessing to me for 18 (almost 19!) years.

I am thankful for my health. I am 47 and work out 5 days a week with no problems. One more thing that I am really thankful for is my brand new convertible! Most of all, I am thankful for my life and the opportunity to make a difference while I'm here.

I hope that this holiday season you will make your own Gratitude List and keep adding to it every day. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

October 2008

Breast Cancer: The Other Survivors

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Aside from non-melanoma skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women." It is one of the top ten causes of death for women in the United States. Breast cancer is the number one cause of cancer deaths in Hispanic women and the second most common cancer death in white, black, Asian/Pacific Islander and American Indian/Alaska Native women.

Although there have been some significant decreases in breast cancer deaths in the United States, much research and prevention efforts still need to be done. Due to mortality trends that cross racial and ethnic lines, at some point in your life, you will know someone who will receive the diagnosis of breast cancer. If this person succumbs to the disease, you will then become what I call the "other survivor" of breast cancer.

Question: What is the "other survivor?"

The Real Answer: The other survivor of breast cancer is the close friend/best friend, relative, or close acquaintance of someone who dies from breast cancer. A close acquaintance is someone you aren't related to but who has a significant influence in your life i.e. a teacher or mentor. The other survivor may become confused, depressed, and anxious right along with the person with the breast cancer diagnosis. The other survivor may not know how to express her feelings or concerns to the person with cancer or to the family if the person dies. The other survivor may go through a period of grief and mourning without support when support is available.

Question: My Aunt is going through surgery for breast cancer, what should I do?

The Real Answer: The key word here is support. People in the midst of life threatening illnesses need to know that they are loved. Think of how you would like to be treated. Send a handwritten card or letter. Call you aunt and see how she's doing. Follow her lead in the conversation. Allow her to say as much or as little as she likes regarding her experience. Visit her as she is available. Be a good listener. Let it be known that you care.

Question: I have trouble dealing with illness and death. Can't I just mind my own business?

The Real Answer: Breast Cancer is your business. The women who die each year from the disease are you. They are your mother, your grandmother, your sister and all the women you are connected to throughout the world.

The best defense against fear is information. You may have trouble dealing with illness and death in others because it brings up troubling thoughts of your own mortality. This is a good time to begin to address your own fears. Talk to a good friend or find a professional counselor to talk to. A counselor can help identify and work through specific areas of concern.

If you are one of the millions of "other survivors" of breast cancer, its important to acknowledge your own feelings regarding the disease. Stay connected to other survivors. Participate in breast cancer awareness and research efforts like the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Be proactive against breast cancer by monitoring your breasts monthly. Get mammograms as suggested by your family physician. Make a point to eat cleaner, healthier, and exercise daily. Avoid known carcinogens like tobacco and nicotine. Be careful regarding your sexual health. Develop your awareness of breast cancer. In so doing, you will connect with a vast sisterhood of women. Women who live, laugh, love, and survive together.

For more information, contact the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Cancer Prevention and Control:

1(800) CDC-INFO
E-mail: cdcinfo@cdc.gov

"Aside from non-melanoma skin cancer,
breast cancer is the most common form
of cancer in women."

September 2008

Healing Power of Pets

Question: How do pets help people heal?

The Real Answer: Pets have proven therapeutic value in helping people heal both emotionally and physically from trauma. Pets have been shown to help sufferers of chronic illnesses fight the effects of these illnesses. According to Dr. Marty Becker, “ The popular press is full of stories of people who through their strong relationships with their animals found a reason to go on living despite their illnesses. What is surprising is how this bond is as well founded in science as in emotion. What we crave and receive through an intimate relationship with an animal is intimacy, a non-judgmental audience who is always happy to see us and rarely shrinks from our touch. As we pet our animals our heart rates lower, blood pressure drops and mood altering neurochemicals such as phenylethalamine (active ingredient in chocolate), dopamine, beta-endorphins, prolactin, and oxytocin are released in our bloodstream. These natural substances increase in the blood stream whenever bonding takes place and stimulate feelings of elation, safety, tranquility, happiness, satisfaction, nurturing, and even love. These same substances are released when a mother nurses her baby. No wonder people reach for their pets in times of stress!”

Question: How do pets help children overcome traumatic events?

The Real Answer: Trauma does damage to the ability to form a relationship. It destroys the belief in a safe universe. It erodes self esteem and feelings of the safe predictability of one's world. Trauma comes in many forms: loss of a parent through death or divorce, physical trauma, i.e. beatings or sexual abuse, injuries sustained in car accidents, fires etc. The experience of caring for a pet gives a traumatized child a way to enjoy the feelings of safety they would like to have. Nurturing the pet becomes self-nurturing. Dr. Becker states, “ The National Institute of Health regularly prescribes animal assisted therapy teams to help hospital patients cope with depression. Pets serve as a focus on something outside yourself and interacting with them actually increases the building blocks of neurotransmitters in the blood that alleviate depression.”

Question: What type of pet is best?

The Real Answer: The pet that is best for your family depends on a variety of factors. Keep in mind that the above mentioned studies are based on pets such as dogs, cats, hamsters, horses etc. that can be touched, petted, and stroked. The pet that is right for your family will be able to fit into your schedule easily. For example, if you are away from home often, pets that sleep during the day and don't require a lot of attention like hamsters or guinea pigs would probably be better suited to your life style. Cats and dogs are wonderful family pets. We have 2 dogs and 4 cats, with a litter of kittens due at the end of the month! Cats require a bit less maintenance than dogs. Dogs flow well in a high energy family. They do need to be walked regularly and this needs to be taken into consideration. When selecting a pet for yourself or your family, don't rush into your decision. Avoid buying on impulse, Do your homework about the pet you are considering. Think of the pet as an addition to your family that will be with you for many years. For more information about the healing power of pets read “The Healing Power of Pets” by Marty Becker Hyperion Press.

August 2008

Question: What is Postpartum depression?

The Real Answer: Depression is often described as a general feeling of feeling sad, blue, down in the dumps, unhappy or just plain miserable. Everyone experiences temporary feelings like these at different times in their lives. True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, frustration and unhappiness persist for an extended period of time. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the DSM-IV-TR, the following criteria represent the symptoms of a major depressive episode:

Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day.
Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities, most of the day, nearly every day.
Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain.
Insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much or too little) nearly every day.
Psychomotor agitation or retardation (sped up or slowed down movements) nearly every day that is observable by others.
Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day.
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.
Recurrent thoughts of death (not just a fear of dying), recurrent suicide ideation with or without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

Depression that occurs during pregnancy or within one year of delivery is called perinatal or postpartum depression.

Question: I should be happy now, why am I depressed?

The Real Answer: During pregnancy hormone changes or stressful life events may cause chemical changes in the brain that lead to depression. These hormone changes may also trigger depression after the birth of the baby. Some of the symptoms of postpartum depression may go unrecognized and untreated because some normal pregnancy changes cause similar symptoms and are happening at the same time. Researchers think that the fast change in hormone levels immediately after birth may lead to depression just as smaller changes in hormones can affect a woman’s moods before she gets her menstrual period.

Question: What else should I be aware of?

The Real Answer: Be on the look out for factors that may contribute to postpartum depression:

Feeling tired after delivery, broken sleep patterns, and not getting enough rest.
Feelings of being overwhelmed by the baby, or another baby to take care of and doubting your ability to mother effectively.
Feelings of stress related to changes in home, work, and life routines.
Feelings of loss-loss of your own identity, of who you were or are before the baby, loss of control, loss of your pre-pregnancy figure and/or feeling less attractive.
Having less free time and/or control over time. Having to stay indoors for longer periods of time and having less time for friends, family, or social activities.

Question: I've heard horrible stories of mothers killing their children while experiencing postpartum depression. Why does this happen?

The Real Answer: A worst case scenario for postpartum depression happens when a woman experiences psychotic features that go unnoticed and/or untreated during a postpartum depression. Symptoms of psychosis include: extreme and rapid fluctuations of mood, preoccupation with the health of the newborn, which may range from over concern to frank delusions, (delusions are thoughts about experiences or events that are not possible). The presence of severe and persistent ruminations or delusional thoughts about the infant is associated with a significantly increased risk of harm to the infant. The mother may also experience bizarre delusions and hallucinations such as voices telling her that she needs to protect the baby from aliens by killing the baby before the aliens can.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression, it is imperative to talk to a mental health professional immediately! In cases of post partum psychosis, the individual should seek immediate assistance by going to the nearest hospital emergency room. For the health of your baby and your own health, treatment for depression should be sought without delay. For more information about postpartum depression, contact the National Women’s Health Information Center (NWHIC) at 1-800-994-9662.

You can also contact the National Institute of Mental Health, NIH, HHS at (301) 4969576 or www.nimh.nih.gov.

DISCLAIMER: Information available on Best Ever You is for informational purposes only and is not meant to diagnose or treat any illness. For treatment of depression, contact your mental health service provider.