The Best Ever You Network

Is Your Suit of Armor Weighing You Down | Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on May 4th, 2012

Guard Be Gone
By Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

We each have a past. Our past dips us in experiences and those experiences are probably all over the place with good, best, bad and even ugly at moments.

Enter new person in your life. They don't know your complete past and you don't know theirs. How will it play out?

Let's think of them as an M & M. Yes a little piece of candy-coated chocolate. In fact, some people you meet might be so wonderful, to you, they are like the whole bag, but let's just say for a moment they are just one piece of candy. (I've chosen candy because I am on an over 100 day sugar detox now...)

Candy. Yum. So to you, this person is a yummy piece of chocolate coated candy. You know, they could even be an ice cream cone dipped in a chocolate shell... The point is, this person, to you, is sugar coated to the core and wonderful, but when you get to their personality or being or aura, they dipped themselves in a shell and aren't going to let you in or might, but it will be crack by crack. In fact, they might even be wearing a very heavy suit or armor - so ready up your battle axe!!

Still, to you it's a candy coated shell, but still a shell, and guess what, you aren't going to be able to crack it or eat the whole bag even. It's a shell and maybe even a wall of a shell and don't wage war on it. Accept it, but understand the person might be in a different place (and/or time).

You may even be an egg that needs some cracking or meet one. Careful peeling and cracking it and by all means don't step in or be walking on them. Some people have a shell so thick it is like a Galapagos Turtle. Old, hardened, shell and not moving in any particular direction - mostly still and slow.

Welcome to Guard Be Gone. Can you teach, train, help or even send enough love to remove the shell and allow vulnerability to flow? Can a person who has dipped themselves in a shell unlayer, unlearn, unburden and allow themselves to be vulnerable to you? Are you the one walking about with your sword ready for battle? Are you people slaying before they ever get close to you?

People are all different and our shells and armor are too. What will happen to you if you allow yourself to be vulernable? Will you get hurt? Will you be in pain? Will you be in love? Will you have the time of your life? Will you be stuck in the mantras of protection? Are you stuck in your own?

Here are 15 ways to help someone be just a little more vulnerable to you and you to them:

1. Be Open and Honest and Loving.

2. Share and be open emotionally.

3. Do not be scared of change and uncharted territory. Trust yourself to take that first step.

4. Open your heart to love. Tell people how much they matter to you. Try not to greet a new person thinking "How is this person going to hurt me?" Instead try changing up the tape playing in your head to something more positive like "What am I going to learn from this new person no matter what?"

5. Everyone has feelings, fears and worries. Try not to be afraid to show them and speak about them. We all have a lot of common ground in reality.

6. Understand your own insecurites and how they play out in your relationships with others.

7. Look at the situation differently. You can only control yourself, your responses, your behavior.

8. Don't mistake vulnerability for weakness. Often people who show softer sides are the strongest of the bunch.

9. Improve communication. Goes up there with #1 and #2. Take time for someone new in your life and allow them to get to know you and you to know them.

10. Lose the "It will take forever to get to know me because my history and past are so lengthy" approach. Take time with new people, whether 18 or 55 or 75. A new person in your life doesn't know you.

11. Don't carry your past into now with the new person. They haven't done anything to you and aren't the past people. If Tim, Sally and Sue hurt you before, well this is Jane, not Tim, Sally or Sue. Jane is just Jane.

12. Don't expect someone to Google you to know you. If you are out there and your bio is up, posted and for the world to see, error on the side of "they don't have you memorized".

13. You may be the greatest person in your own mind. Give someone else a chance to discover just how amazing you are.

14. Take risks and take that leap of faith. Have self-confidence. Risk rejection. You may feel some pain. Pain helps us grow. On the other hand, you may feel nothing but love and joy. You won't know until you risk it. Leap, look back, learn.

15. Know when not to be vulnerable. There are some cases where safety is more important.

Being vulnerable is not a negative. When used properly, it helps us grow. It's that old "benefit of the doubt" saying in full 2012 motion.... leave the baggage behind.

My Best,

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

What? Seriously? that might make me just a wee bit too vulnerable.

ps- someone needs to check to ensure I spelled vulnerable right throughout this. I am the self-proclaimed Ruler of TypoLand (ego, ego, ego, LOL) and well, Liz, our editor is out there doing vulnerability leaps.

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network and is a Certified Professional Life Coach, author, busy baseball mom of four boys. You can hear her radio show on Tues/Thurs at 1pm EST at 714-868-0220 or click anytime to listen here http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou

Best Ever You Named StartUpNation Top Company

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on May 2nd, 2012

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

StartupNation.com Honors Nation’s Leading Moms in Business

The Best Ever You Network Wins Top Honors in Mom Business Competition

Falmouth, ME – May 2, 2012– From among thousands of contestants, The Best Ever You Network has been ranked 107th in StartupNation.com’s 2012 Leading Moms in Business competition (www.startupnation.com/leading-moms-in-business), sponsored by Web.com (www.discover.web.com/) and Sam's Club (www5.samsclub.com/YourBusiness.aspx).

Over 350,000 votes were cast in support of the 2012 contestants, reflecting immense interest and supportiveness for moms building businesses at the same time they tend to their families.

“There’s been a sea change among moms as they’ve come to realize that adding entrepreneurship to their lives brings exhilaration and immense gratification, not to mention supplemental—sometimes primary—income to their families in these dicey economic times,” says Rich Sloan, chief startupologist and co-founder of StartupNation.

“Being recognized as a top mom in business in a nationwide competition is a tremendous honor for us! We won this award in 2010 and now again in 2012. It shows such a tremendous loyalty from our network and community members who are dedicated to our company growing and succeeding. I thank you all for your support!” said Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, CEO/Founder of
The Best Ever You Network.

The winner’s profile for The Best Ever You Network can be found at http://www.startupnation.com/leading-moms-in-business/contestant/12103/index.php

The 2012 Leading Moms in Business ranking highlights some of the dominant trends, motivations and attributes among moms in business. They include:
• A great eye for providing attractive discounts, coupons, savings and value, all especially important to consumer moms of the recession era.
• A likelihood to come up with innovative products and solutions to address the challenging maze of motherhood. It’s an environment that demands resourcefulness.
• Conscience-driven business, where “doing well” is just fine, but the real rush comes from doing good.
• The attraction of being your own boss looms large for moms wanting to take control they just can’t find in a day job.
• Sustainable solutions and responsible business practices are increasingly paramount.
• Making the most of social media for business benefit is seemingly a birthright for the socially adept moms.
The full results of the 2012 Leading Moms in Business ranking are available on StartupNation’s website at http://www.startupnation.com/leading-moms-in-business.

Clear the Fear | Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on April 27th, 2012

Special Call in Coaching Call, Monday April 30th at 11am EST. Click anytime to listen
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/04/30/call-in-coaching-with-cpcs-deb-elizabeth

By Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Are you one of the 5 million estimated Americans who experiences the emotional and often devastating effects of fear related stress?

“According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 19 million people in the United States alone suffer from mental illnesses that involve irrational fear responses. These disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Clear the Fear

Do you ever feel paralyzed by fear? Fear to change yourself, your career, your relationships? Fear to try something new? Fear of failure, loss or even what people might think of you?

Yes, everyone experiences fear to some degree, but not everyone uses fear as a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block.

Making Fear a Friend.

At the end of this article our goal is to provide you with tangible tools to:

1. Accurately define what Fear is and what Fear is not.

2. Understand Clinical Data about Fear and Successful Studies how to Overcome Fear.

3. Exercises to help you Clear the Fear from a negative obstacle into a positive opportunity.

Are you Born with Fear?

By definition, everyone experiences fear. “It is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.” Fear is a necessary survival mechanism in all human beings.

Anxiety- is future-oriented fear because we cannot control what will happen next.

Panic- is becoming intimidated by something that reminds a person of their fear, creating an alarm response.

Physiological changes in the body associated with fear, the “fight or flight” response, can include:

Rapid heart rate Increased blood pressure Tightening of muscles Increased sweating

Good Fear VS Bad Fear

Good fear serves a good purpose. For example, if you have to give a major presentation to a group of professionals at your place of work, fear can motivate you to sharpen your skills to practice and deliver an excellent presentation.

Bad Fear is when fear becomes irrational and excessive, it can become crippling and instigate a cascade of destructive feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Name a personal experience of Good Fear and Bad Fear below:

Good Fear____________________________________________________

Bad Fear_____________________________________________________

Creating Fear

“In the 1920s, American psychologist John Watson taught an infant to fear white rats. “Little Albert” had no fear of the laboratory’s test animals. He showed joy at the sight of the white rats especially and always reached out for them. Watson and his assistant taught Albert to be terrified of white rats. They used Pavlovian (classical) conditioning, pairing a neutral stimulus (the rat) with a negative effect. Whenever Albert reached for one of the rats, they created a terrifyingly loud noise right behind the 11-month-old child. Not only did Albert very quickly learn to fear the white rats, crying and moving away whenever he saw one, but he also started to cry in the presence of other furry animals and a Santa Claus mask with a white beard.”

“Like Little Albert’s fear of white rats, a person’s fear of dogs is most likely a conditioned response. Perhaps he was bitten by a dog when he was three years old. Twenty years later, the person’s brain (the amygdala in particular) still associates the sight of a dog with the pain of a bite.”

Clearing the Fear

Fear extinction is creating a positive conditioned response that counteracts the negative fear response, usually involving exposure to an outside stimuli. However, scientists have discovered ” stimulating a protein called NMDA (N-methyl D-asparate) in the amygdala can enhance fear extinction.”

Identify a fear you want to eliminate and re-frame:

_____________________________________________________________

"I Want to Clear Away this Fear"

Kerry Ressler, associate professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University is studying the biology of fear. And the impact of a neurotrophic factor known as BDNF. “We’re studying how the biology of the brain is changed by the environment, and how these changes underlie memories and experiences.”

Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones

The Prevention magazine article “What are you afraid of?: 8 secrets that make fear disappear” offers these tips for dealing with everyday fears:
1.It doesn’t matter why you’re scared. Knowing why you’ve developed a particular fear doesn’t do much to help you overcome it, and it delays your progress in areas that will actually help you become less afraid. Stop trying to figure it out.

2.Learn about the thing you fear. Uncertainty is a huge component of fear: Developing an understanding of what you’re afraid of goes a long way toward erasing that fear.

3.Train. If there’s something you’re afraid to try because it seems scary or difficult, start small and work in steps. Slowly building familiarity with a scary subject makes it more manageable.

4.Find someone who is not afraid. If there’s something you’re afraid of, find someone who is not afraid of that thing and spend time with that person. Take her along when you try to conquer your fear — it’ll be much easier.

5.Talk about it. Sharing your fear out loud can make it seem much less daunting.

6.Play mind games with yourself. If you’re afraid of speaking in front of groups, it’s probably because you think the audience is going to judge you. Try imagining the audience members naked — being the only clothed person in the room puts you in the position of judgment.

7.Stop looking at the grand scheme. Think only about each successive step. If you’re afraid of heights, don’t think about being on the fortieth floor of a building. Just think about getting your foot in the lobby.

8.Seek help. Fear is not a simple emotion. If you’re having trouble overcoming your fear on your own, find a professional to help you. There are lots of treatments for fear out there, and no good reason not to try them under the guidance of someone with training and experience

Accepting fear is part of the human condition, being able to identify good fear from bad fear, understanding the science behind the cycle of fear, and what you can do to reframe your fear to work for you, instead of against you, is all possible for you with a little help from your friends.

Love and Blessings,

Deb Scott, BA, CPC and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, BA, CPC

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Best Ever You Magazine - April/May

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on April 23rd, 2012

We are each other’s greatest asset.

One look at this month's Best Ever You Magazine, featuring Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith, Gary Kobat and others from The Motivation Marathon and you’ll see what I mean by that.

It is amazing to see what can be achieved with the power of “us.”

One person can’t do it all.

One person sews. One cooks really well. One takes beautiful photos of sunrises and sunsets and matches magical words to each. Someone is a brilliant doctor. One is a fitness instructor. Someone just saved a life. One stays home. One teaches. One trains dogs. One runs for office….and the people and their strengths (and weaknesses) go on and on and on.

When you discover the world of people and all they have to offer without being scared, jealous,
negative or fearful; but rather supportive, positive, upbeat and gracious – your whole world can
change. Someone’s world may light up with the gift of you; your knowledge, help, guidance and
more.

Appreciate each other. Discover the people around you. Learn. Grow. Connect. Mentor. Teach.
We can be each other’s worst enemies. Be the greatest asset to yourself and others. Looks
fade, $200 pairs of jeans wear out, expensive shoes wear down, purses get stained, furniture
wears out, your house gets old, cars break down and even you, at some point will break down
also. In all that is you, your personality and how you treated yourself and others around you
will shine through.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in I, I, I . . . me, me, me . . . or you, you, you mode. It’s all about
US and WE.

Be the asset. Be a friend.

All My Best to You,
Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino
Founder/CEO - The Best Ever You Network

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network. She thanks her lucky stars for each and every person in her life and continues to be amazed by what we can do together. Thank you for being YOU!

ps- Elizabeth is the self-proclaimed ruler of TypoLand, so if you see one just give us a nudge. We all type with fake fingernails, making the tasks at hand especially challenging and Liz, our editor, if off exercising, so we just created a special runonsentence to freak her out :) ahhh, the power of us.

Meet Elinor Stutz | Smooth Sale | Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on April 10th, 2012

Best Ever You is proud to support our friend, Elinor Stutz. Elinor is a featured Motivation Marathon speaker, the author of two books and a friend and inspiration to all she meets. You can follow her on Twitter @smoothsale. Elinor will be holding an event in San Francisco on April 27, 2012. More information about the event follows our interview.

How did you get to be where you are today?
My first sales job proved to be the best training ground. The men tried to force me to quit but I refused to go. Since I knew nothing about sales, no one was speaking to me, and training was non-existent, I asked my prospects why they let me in the door. I asked how they got their jobs and what they liked best so that I would know how to choose a better one in the future.

The result of all this was I became the top producer by the 4th month without knowing how to sell simply because people liked me! By the end of the year, I won all of the sales awards. I was therefore “motivated” to interview. This happened about every 15 months. I embarrassed the salesmen.

The good news is I wrote two best-selling books due to the experience – Nice Girls DO Get the Sale: Relationship Building that Gets Results, Sourcebooks, (it made TIME Magazine and translated into several languages), and HIRED! How to Use Sales Techniques to Sell Yourself On Interviews, Career Press.

Have you ever been fired?
Once someone tried to get me fired but I found an attorney who helped me obtain a spot in a different office. I remained long enough to officially find another job. My husband’s motto is, “Never quit a job until you have a contract for a new one” and he is quite right.

What are your real passions?
Personally, I love meeting people of all nationalities and learning about new cultures. This has lead to much travel in my lifetime. My interest is also a very good fit for sales, and business as an entrepreneur. I have grown into a passion for helping communities finding that very rewarding. I do that by t providing excellent content for my followings online, and teaching those in career transition how to conduct better interviews. I also very much enjoy writing, and delivering keynotes on stage.

If you won the lotto what would you do?
I’m old enough to not care so much about material goods, but I would make certain to have a fund set aside for the college education in preparation for the possibility of grandchildren. My biggest goal is to raise money for medical research on anti-immune disease to find a cure more quickly.

What do you hope to accomplish in the future?
I feel so fortunate to have tried my hand at entrepreneurship. It seems I have tried everything my heart desired to date. There is one more book I wish to get out and speak about at more events. It has an important message meant to both inspire and motivate others to do their best to overcome the odds.

I’m a rare person who survived a broken neck. Two visions came to me while on the stretcher waiting to be admitted to the hospital at the very same moment the doctors weer telling my family I would be paralyzed. Those visions changed the way I approach life and business from that point forward. Upon seeing these, I held a firm belief I would be well.

The next morning, the surgeon assigned to me predicted paralysis. I retorted in no uncertain terms I fully expected to be well. Four hours later he was standing over me and said, “I have no idea what happened, there is no explanation, but you will walk out in four days.” The medical staff called me a walking miracle.

What do you like to do in your personal life?
My all time favorite is spending time with my adult children and husband. Three of us love to cook together and we all have a passion for travel. Between us we have travelled through most of the world.

Please give us one or two shameless plugs.
I have a gift for sales and business development. Even as a child I was able to get people to see a different point of view and have them agree with it. Any entrepreneur or sales team motivated to do better will do well to request a consultation to learn how I may teach them to improve their business whether traditional style or online. OpenView Labs created their own algorithm to find the top industries, companies and individuals in any category. I was honored by making their list of “Top 25 Sales Influencers for 2012”! After the years of harassment, I made the list with well-known male sales advisors. For me, this was the crowning glory of achievement!

Please give us one plug for someone else or your favorite cause or charity.
Pearl McFarland and I are partnering on our “Evenings of Inspiration” to help those in career transition. Our tagline is “Be Inspired to Get HIRED!” Details and registration may be found here: http://bit.ly/An-Evening-Of-Inspiration

We are looking forward to building more of these events, get them known and requested, and move our businesses forward with additional community advocacy. Pearl established her 501C to provide resources for cancer and Parkinson’s patients and their families. Our backgrounds and long-term vision are very similar.

What do you do to help stay your best ever?
Surviving the broken neck and reclaiming my life, I recognized I needed to take care of my mind, body and soul. The fifth day after surgery, I asked my husband to drive me to the gym – that was quite a sales job, wearing a huge neck brace, to be allowed into the workout area! I stopped eating all food with preservatives and switched to organic produce and grass-fed beef. My weight dramatically dropped and I began to feel great, my spirits lifted.
The next important step was to only associate with positive minded people who were true friends and disassociated with the negative minded, self-focused people. My happiness meter soared as did my business. I came to realize everything is interconnected. We must take care of ourselves in all aspects in order to be able to help others.

How do you help other people be their best?
Support of others is provided in a variety of ways: posting quality content online, being a resource, offering encouragement and/or new ideas, making introductions and recommendations, collaborating, cross-promoting and establishing a policy of always answering questions to the fullest

What is your favorite book to recommend to someone else to read
Of course I recommend my own book, Nice Girls DO Get the Sale. But my next two favorites are Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and Napolean Hill’s, “Think and Grow Rich”.

Tell us a secret ;)
When people tell me I can’t do something, I find it a motivating opportunity to prove them wrong! For example, a number of years ago, I self-published a book. Only two weeks old and proudly showing it to someone, he meanly said, “If your book were any good, a publisher would have picked it up!” The very next week, while networking, I met and hired Randy Peyser to represent me at the BEA Fair in New York. She returned with 11 leads for publishing houses. The first one I called said Yes – and that was the start of my building Smooth Sale!

For More Information:
www.smoothsale.net

An Evening Of Inspiration
“ Be Inspired to get HIRED!”

April 27, 6:00 p.m.
Champagne, Hors d’oeuvres, Networking
The Palace Hotel, San Francisco

For those Seeking work,  Changing jobs, or  in Career transition.

Do you have the belief, vision and a plan for acquiring the job or furthering the career you desire? Are you wondering how to find the right job and negotiate a better package?

Should uncertainty of competing against hundreds of other applicants, or words of doom from the news get you down, join us for this evening of camaraderie, inspiring words, and specific advice to help you through the interviewing process.

International Speaker and Author, Elinor Stutz, CEO of Smooth Sale, LLC, will provide motivating words along with unique selling techniques for securing the job you desire. Speak with her afterward to receive your personalized copy of her best-selling book, HIRED! How to Use Sales Techniques to Sell Yourself On Interviews, published by Career Press.

For Only $65, you will enjoy all of this plus gain the knowledge on how to negotiate a better package with ease. In other words, a small investment will return BIG dividends!

A percentage of proceeds will be donated to the Sherland Charitable Foundation providing resources for pancreatic cancer and Parkinson's patients and their families. Our philosophy is to simultaneously build business and community. Therefore, we appreciate your sharing the information with those you know – thank you in advance!

For more information and to register, visit: http://bit.ly/An-Evening-Of-Inspiration

Your Warrior Within | Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on April 8th, 2012

This was my Easter present from my mom and dad- 2012.

I went down, grabbed my iPad, got my email and was just in tears of joy all day long over these photos of my dad that were taken yesterday.

For those of you following Best Ever You for the first time, let me introduce you to my dad, James F. Hamilton. We call him "The ICU Warrior."

He is a Stroke Survivor (2004) and a Kidney Cancer Survivor (2011). He spent the last 45 days of 2011 in the ICU unit of Fairview Ridges, Burnsville, MN after being resuscitated from a medical error. It was life or death daily and the nurses and doctors still can't believe he made it through.

He wound up in the ICU after coming home from a kidney removal surgery at the Mayo Clinic. The doctor at the Mayo Clinic did not close the surgery properly after removing a kidney, which left him bleeding internally and taken by ambulance to Fairview Ridges and resuscitated along the way. (see many previous blogs...)

He is the ICU Warrior and it is amazing to see him up and about....We created a website for him while he was sick on Caring Bridge. Take a look if you get a moment to see a tiny example of what he has overcome.

But see that book in his hand? It is called "Onslaught" and he wrote that AFTER his stroke and finished it over the past few months AFTER his bout in the ICU. It will be out soon. He has always wanted to have a book published...

My point? He willed himself to live and we were there to help. He has willed himself (and we've been there to help) to this standing position on the front porch of his home. You don't know that in this photo he can't really see you that well from the stroke and he can't hear so great and he gets tired easily and just lost 70 pounds.

I don't even quite have words that are easily flowing to tell you how proud I am.

It's his 69th birthday tomorrow, April 9, 2012.

Happy Birthday Dad!! See you on the 20th.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever Give Up.

Love,
Elizabeth

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network. This is dedicated to all of you who have lost a parent or have parents that are ill. Keep the faith.

Turn Your Passions and Talents Into Success

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on March 24th, 2012

Listen to Deb and Elizabeth for a live one hour free coaching call on this topic at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou/2012/04/16/elizabeth-and-deb--turn-passions-and-talents-into-success

By Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Do you want to be a success? Of course your answer is a resounding YES!

The more difficult question to contemplate might be: how do you define and measure your success?

Is it having a specific amount of money?
Being a certain weight?
Traveling around the world?
Receiving recognition and accolades at work?
Experiencing a rewarding relationship with your partner, spouse or children?
Is it an emotional feeling of peaceful well-being?

You can’t turn your talents and passions into success, if you don’t have a clear definition of what success is for you.

Write down your personal definition of success below.

The next part of the equation is identifying your talents and passions. You may have a talent which you are not passionate about using, and a passion for something you are not talented to manifest, and you may have some talents and passions which directly overlap. For example, you may be passionate about drawing, but you might not be particularly talented at it. You might be very talented at singing, but not particularly passionate about it. You could be a talented teacher and also very passionate about teaching.

Take a moment to write three things you are talented at, and three things you are passionate about.

Talents                                       Passions
1.                                                  1.
2.                                                  2.
3.                                                  3.

A recent study by Dr. Martin Seligman suggested happiness can be broken down into three separate and measurable categories.

1) The Pleasant Life
Having as much positive emotion and as little negative emotion as possible.

2) The Engaged Life
Being completely absorbed by the challenges you face at work, love, play, etc.

3) The Meaningful Life
Knowing what your highest strengths are and using them to belong to and serve something that is bigger than you are.

Combining your talents with your passions in the context of what gives you positive emotions, and powerfully absorbs you in a meaningful way, will inevitably give you true success in being your most authentic self.

One of the best ways to achieve something you want is to find a good mentor. Who can you think of who has already accomplished what you want? What did they do to get it? Who do they associate with? What types of activities and hobbies do they engage in? What types of people do they associate with? What books do they read? What associations do they belong to? What are their daily habits like? These are just some of the questions you can ask.

Name 2 people you admire who already have what you want.
1.
2.

The Texas Medical Association identified 8 characteristics of happy people.
Characteristics of Happy People…They…
•         devote a great amount of time to family and friends
•         are comfortable expressing gratitude
•         are the first to offer a helping hand
•         express optimism when imagining their futures
•         savor life's pleasures and live in the moment
•         make physical activity a daily habit
•         are deeply committed to lifelong goals
•         show poise and strength in coping with crises

Do you notice a trend, that happiness is developed by nurturing your talents and passions, which ultimately leads to personal success?

Doing what you were designed to successfully accomplish will give you more energy, not less. You will be better at making decisions, leading others, and more resilient in adversity. Your health and immune system will be stronger, and you will enjoy a more satisfying life.

Another psychological study by Chris Peterson indicates truly successful and satisfied people tend to have the following 6 virtues in their character:

•         Wisdom
•         Courage
•         Humanity
•         Justice
•         Temperance
•         Transcendence

Which one of these do you identify with most powerfully? Which one of these do you admire in other people? Which ones do you want to experience more frequently?

Once you have clearly defined what success is for you; understanding what talents you have and what sets your heart on fire with passion, you are able to deliberately feed your soul in each area. Ideally, you will be activating one or more of the virtues listed above to reinforce your overall success.

So how can you strategize for success?

Implementing the following three elements into your action plan will result in success:
1. Focus on learning new skills to reinforce your talents and passions.
2. Consistently cultivate what you already do well and enjoy.
3. Eliminate unnecessary stressors which are not a priority to your value system.

You can’t do it alone, and you weren’t mean to! We all learn, grow, and succeed with the help of others. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire your soul to free your talents and passions will carry you with momentum not possible on your own power.

We are here to support your success, and keep you going and growing to be your best!

Love,
Deb and Elizabeth

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

About Deb Scott

Deb Scott, Certified Professional Coach, specializes in working with individuals, businesses, and corporate environments, transforming ineffective group and personal dynamics into high-powered, successful, dynamic individuals and teams. A biology major in college, Deb became an award-winning sales and leadership specialist. With 20 years of background in cardiac surgery sales, she now applies her sales and business background to motivational speaking and consulting. She speaks and writes about how you can turn things around whether you’re in sales, marketing, advertising, hiring, or team building. “The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue – Turning Your Upside-Down World Right-Side-Up!” is her debut book. Deb is also the Founder and co-host of The Motivation Marathon at www.motivationmarathon.com Her radio show, The Best People We Know Show is top-rated on Blog Talk Radio.

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network. She is a Certified Professional Life Coach and award winning author. Her radio show, The Best Ever You Show, is a top rated international radio show on Blog Talk Radio. Elizabeth has interviewed hundreds of experts and celebrities including; Ed Asner, Alana Stewart, Michael McGlone, Bobby Roth, Tosca Reno, Shea Vaughn, Eileen Davidson, Susan Baker, Forbes Riley and many more. Elizabeth is also a Producer and co-host of The Motivation Marathon.

Is 2012 the Year You Bring Your Book to Life?

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on March 3rd, 2012

Lisa Tener and Linda Joy will be guests on The Best Ever You Show on Blog Talk Radio, March 6 at 1pm EST. To listen anytime click: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou/2012/03/06/bring-your-book-to-life-with-lisa-tener-and-linda-joy

On March 7th, Linda Joy and Lisa Tener will demystify the process of becoming a published author.

In this highly interactive forum, they will share the secrets for guiding clients who got 5- and 6- figure publishing deals.

Their special surprise guests will bring you their experiences and insights into the publishing process.

They'll answer your most burning writing and publishing questions, as well as share:

• Strategies for becoming a published author.
• The most important question to ask BEFORE you start writing.
• How to complete your book quickly.
• How to make time and stay committed.
• How to write a book that can attract top publishers.
And much more.

Be on the LIVE CALL and you could hear YOUR NAME called as the winner of one of their prizes, including copies of Quick Start to Kick Start Your Book, Lisa's Inspiration to Author in 8 Weeks, a blog interview and announcement about your book in the Write Your Book newsletter, and a three-hour Platform Building for Authors virtual retreat with Publisher Linda Joy. But you can't win unless you attend the call LIVE.

Click here to register: REGISTER

About Lisa Tener

Lisa Tener shows you how to become a published author and the go-to expert in your industry. She specializes in helping entrepreneurs, doctors, therapists, and coaches shape their expertise, ideas and unique gifts into a book that attracts ideal clients, opens up new opportunities and raises your profile.

Lisa has been quoted nationally in USA Weekend, Glamour, Family Circle, The Boston Globe, WebMD and has appeared on ABC World News with Peter Jennings and PBS-TV. Her clients have been published by major publishers and have appeared on Oprah, CBS Early Show, Good Morning America and others. Lisa has served on the advisory board of the International Association of Writers and currently serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School's publishing course.

About Linda Joy

Best-selling Inspirational Publisher, Conscious Business Catalyst, and Inspirational Speaker Linda Joy is dedicated to inspiring women to live deeper, more authentic and inspired lives both personally and professionally. As the publisher of Aspire, the premiere inspirational magazine for women – Ms Joy has created a respected and established voice in the women’s inner empowerment movement and reaches tens of thousands of women around the world through their ‘Mission to Inspire 100,000 Women’ campaign. Ms Joy is also the Founder and Publisher of Inspired Living Publishing, bringing women’s stories to life and to the world with its series of best-selling inspirational books written by women and for women.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network and Executive Producer and host of The Best Ever You Show.

Relationship Mastery - Best Ever You Blue Ribbon Award Winner

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on March 3rd, 2012

I am proud to award the book "Relationship Mastery" our Best Ever You Blue Ribbon Award. The author Dr. David Fraser has written a book that appeals to my husband, so even on that basis alone, we are giving this book a nod! My husband is reading it and loves it and said, "Now this is a great book!" (Years of law school have crushed my husband's love of reading books.)

Ok, all fun aside for a moment, Dr David has created a masterpiece. This is a book you can read and apply the concepts to business, home, sports, children and any other aspect of your life. The book shows you how to get along with people better in a method that is easy to understand and easy to apply to your real life.

Dr. David recently joined me on Best Ever You Radio. Click to listen. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou/2012/03/01/dr-david-fraser--relationship-mastery-1

David was also a featured speaker for the Motivation Marathon and is an expert on The Best Ever You Network.

An Interview with Dr. David Fraser, author of Relationship Mastery

How did you get to be where you are today?
By working hard, making the most of what I have, being fortunate in the first place, finishing virtually everything I started, having great parents, great friends, and great teachers (still), finding a strong sense of purpose and sticking with it, having the courage to take risks, and stepping out of my comfort zone.

Have you ever been fired?
No. I fired myself once after I had been in a job two weeks because I realized it was wrong for me and I was going to hate it.

What are your real passions?
Helping other people be all they can be, getting people working well together, leading teams in a work situation or a leisure activity.

If you won the lotto what would you do?
Much the same really, but it would be a bit easier perhaps.

What do you hope to accomplish in the future?
I want to make a significant impact on the effectiveness with which people interact with each other because it can make a real difference to individuals, families, organizations, the world even. Write some more books.

What do you like to do in your personal life?
Spend time with my family, go sailing amongst the islands of the West Coast of Scotland, get out into the country, walk, spend time with close friends. I also like music, especially Scottish traditional music, and I am a piper, though I mainly play the smaller versions of the instrument these days.

Please give us one or two shameless plugs.
My first shameless plug is my book “Relationship Mastery: A Business Professional’s Guide”, and my second is just connecting with my work in some way at www.drdavidfraser.com.

Please give us one plug for someone else or your favorite cause or charity.
Rather than plug a specific charity or person, I’d like to ask us all to do that bit more to help and understand other people with special needs. I’m thinking particularly of children and adults with Autism but it could be anything like that.

What do you do to help stay your best ever?
I’m always learning, looking for the next thing I need to know, and at the same time trying to be authentic in everything I do - walking the talk, as much as I can.

How do you help other people be their best?
By supporting them and creating the context in which they can learn what they need to learn.

What is your favorite book to recommend to someone else to read?
Difficult, there is no one book, but for people who want to “put a ding in the Universe,” as Steve Jobs put it, I’d recommend Seth Godin’s book “Linchpin.”

Tell us a secret ;)
I want to put a ding in the Universe around how well we relate to each other and ourselves.

What would you say to someone starting out?
Have the courage to find your own way. Believe in yourself. There are no limits on what you can achieve.

If you had 15 seconds to something to everyone in the world, what you say?
Make good use of the insights available to learn about yourself and other people because it makes a great deal of difference to how your life turns out.

About Dr. David Fraser

David Fraser, PhD, is a leading authority on relationship skills in professional and personal life and author of the well-regarded book “Relationship Mastery: A Business Professional’s Guide”. He is an international speaker with a senior professional background and deep insight into the human side of life gathered from a wealth of sources.

David has a track record of pioneering new approaches. He has delivered major projects for government and private sector clients in challenging situations and set up a number of entrepreneurial ventures. He is a business owner, and a Chartered Engineer with a First Class Honours degree and a PhD from Glasgow University and an MBA from Strathclyde University. He is a qualified commercial mediator and a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Trainer and has studied with leading proponents of these disciplines.

David applies his unusual blend of expertise to supporting disparate groups working together in complex circumstances. He also runs workshop and coaching programs on personal mastery and relationship skills for both organizations and individuals, focusing on the potential to leverage results. The effects are profound—quite simply life-changing for the individuals and their organisations. David also finds the approach set out in his book to be extremely helpful in the home and family environment.

David lives with his wife and three children in Glasgow, Scotland and sails on the West Coast of Scotland when time permits.

www.drdavidfraser.com

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network and host of The Best Ever You Show. She is watching her husband read David's book and he has even dog-eared pages. :)

ps- Elizabeth is the queen of types, even on famous author pages such as this. If you see one, just let her know. Our editor Liz is shoveling snow. See she can't even spell Typo right. LOL. I'm leaving it.

10 Turkeys in the Road - Best Ever You Blue Ribbon Award Winner

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 29th, 2012

I am pleased to award the children's book 10 Turkeys in the Road my Best Ever You Blue Ribbon Award. This book is just delightful and has won a Gold Mom's Choice Award. The story is beautifully written like a true poet and the illustrations are delightful!

Join these 10 troublemaking turkeys while they perform a circus in the road, which causes a farmer to become increasingly frustrated. Count down as these turkeys fly away one at a time, UNTIL the clever turkeys get what they are really after all along!

Listen to more about Brenda, 10 Turkeys in the Road and about how to write and publish and children's book on The Best Ever You Show.

Click to listen: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou/2012/02/27/the-world-of-childrens-books-best-ever-you

About the Author

Brenda Reeves Sturgis is the author of 10 Turkeys in the Road, a count-down book for children ages 3-6, which just received a Gold Mom’s Choice Award. 10 Turkeys in the Road was published in September 2011, by Marshall Cavendish, and also by Scholastic Book Clubs in November 2011, as well. Brenda lives on a lovely little lake in Maine, and enjoys spending her free time writing for children, being a grandmother to her 4 grandchildren, a mother to her 4 children and wife to her husband Gary. She also works as a nanny for Portland Nannies, which combines her love of children, and her love of educating them as well. You can read all about her at www.brendareevessturgis.com

Pinky Doodle Bug Wins Gold Mom's Choice Award

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 29th, 2012

Pinky Doodle Bug: (ISBN: 978-1-1-5-18923-4) is an award-winning children’s book by Best Ever You Founder and CEO Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and is Illustrated by Sandra Waugh

Pinky Doodle Bug has won the Gold Mom’s Choice Award!

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino of Falmouth and Sandra Waugh of Limerick have teamed up to bring this delightful story to let your child's imagination soar!

Join Pinky and her friends on a doodling and writing adventure in the perfect book for children learning to read and parents wanting to share the joy of reading, writing, drawing and dreaming.

Along with the charming verse, every page has a delightful illustration that is sure to make this wonderful tale a favorite of both children and parents alike.

Author, Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino and illustrator, Sandra Waugh, hope Pinky Doodle Bug will inspire children (and adults) to follow their dreams. They would also love for everyone to create their own stories and doodles, sharing them for all the world to read ...and see.

Where to find Pinky Doodle Bug: ISBN: 978-1-1-5-18923-4
Wherever books and ebooks are sold. Prices vary. Discounts often apply.
Amazon: Pinky Doodle Bug

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino
Elizabeth is the CEO and Founder of The Best Ever You Network and the host of top-rated “Best Ever You Show” on Blog Talk Radio. Elizabeth is a certified professional life coach, journalist, actress/on-air personality and author. Elizabeth and her husband Peter live in Maine with their four boys, 3 cats and enormous Labradoodle. Elizabeth was appointed as the Ambassador to Maine Reads in 2006 and has toured the country with her story times and has visited many Maine schools and libraries.

Sandra Waugh
Sandra Waugh is a freelance artist and children's book illustrator. As the child of an Army officer, Sandra was raised in several countries as well as much of the United States. Her travels continued when she married a Coast Guardsman and moved from coast to coast absorbing the many cultures of our wonderful country. During those years she honed her skills and gained much experience as a Graphic Designer, Fine Artist and Children's Book Illustrator. She is best known for her realistic, luminous watercolors. Her latest children's book reflects her more whimsical side featuring colorful, quirky, fun-loving watercolors accented with pen and ink details. Sandra has spent much of her adult life working with children. She has been a preschool teacher for the last seven years, taught art classes and Sunday school and was an elementary school substitute teacher. Her love of children and books (especially picture books) shows in her art. She now resides in southern Maine enjoying the great outdoors, painting the beautiful scenery around her and working on her next children's book.

For Media Download or High Res Photos of Pinky Doodle Bug, please contact elizabeth@besteveryou.com

For School Author/Illustrator visits, please contact us at pinkydoodlebug@gmail.com

Learn the World of Writing and Publishing Children's Books - Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 26th, 2012

Best Ever You Radio takes an hour long focus on children's books with guests Emma Dryden, Karen Grencik and Brenda Reeves Sturgis and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino.

Click anytime to listen to the show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/besteveryou/2012/02/27/the-world-of-childrens-books-best-ever-you

Meet Emma Dryden

Emma D. Dryden was born and raised in New York City. She started her career in children’s publishing at Viking and Random House, followed by a position with Margaret K. McElderry, whose eponymous imprint was a part of Macmillan Children’s Books. After McElderry retired, Emma was made Vice President, Editorial Director of McElderry Books, and in 2005, Vice President, Publisher of Atheneum Books for Young Readers and Margaret K. McElderry Books, imprints of Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing, a position she held until May 2009.

Emma’s edited over five-hundred books for young readers, ranging from board books and picture books to poetry anthologies, novelties, non-fiction, middle grade fiction, and young adult/teen fiction and fantasy. As publisher, she oversaw the annual publication of over one-hundred hardcover and paperback titles. Authors and illustrators whom Emma has edited include Ellen Hopkins, Karma Wilson, Susan Cooper, Alan Katz, David Catrow, Raul Colon, Shelia P. Moses, Marjorie Priceman, Lee Bennett Hopkins, David Diaz, and Paul Zelinsky.

In March 2010, Emma launched her own editorial consulting firm, drydenbks (www.drydenbks.com), through which she edits children’s books; consults with authors, illustrators, agents, and foreign publishers; is a creative consultant with several e-book and app publishers; is a collaborative writer; and does some of her own poetry and fiction writing, as well as keeps a blog (www.emmaddryden.blogspot.com) . A highly sought-after speaker for regional and national conferences, where she often speaks about story and the digital landscape, Emma is also on the Society of Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI; www.scbwi.org) Board of Advisors.

Meet Karen Grencik
Karen Grencik’s path to agenting was a serendipitous one. Her first sale, Double Luck, Memoirs of a Chinese Orphan, written by Lu Chi Fa with Becky White, came about as a result of a friendship with a man whose life she wanted to see memorialized. From there, numerous doors opened up, and she knew she was following her destiny.

Karen met Abigail Samoun, an editor with Tricycle Press, in 2002, when Abi acquired Sarah Wilson's manuscript George Hogglesberry, Grade School Alien. It was Abi’s first picture book acquisition and Karen’s second picture book sale. George Hogglesberry went on to win the prestigious Golden Kite Award for Best Picture Book Text in 2003.

Karen and Abi then reconnected at the 2010 summer SCBWI conference when Karen was thinking about returning to agenting after semi-retiring in Costa Rica for several years. However, it was at a Tricycle Press going-away party in spring 2011 where the seed was planted for a possible collaboration.

Karen and Abi launched Red Fox Literary on 6/14/11, which went viral overnight after being featured in Publishers Weekly. Karen represents picture books, middle grade and young adult fiction and nonfiction. Abi represents author/illustrators for picture books, and middle grade and young adult fiction. They look forward to bringing many, many wonderful books to children’s bookshelves!

www.redfoxliterary.com

MeetBrenda Reeves Sturgis

Brenda Reeves Sturgis is a children’s picture book author. She lives on a lovely little lake with her husband Gary, and daughter Stacie. She is the mother of four children, and the grandmother of four grandchildren. Brenda served in the United States Air Force, and traveled to quaint country sides in lands far far away. She enjoys imagining, and creating, and loves reading her stories to anybody that wants to laugh and listen.

10 TURKEYS IN THE ROAD

Join these 10 troublemaking turkeys while they perform a circus in the road, which causes a farmer to become increasingly frustrated. Count down as these turkeys fly away one at a time, UNTIL the clever turkeys get what they are really after all along!

10 Turkeys just won a GOLD Mom’s choice award!

http://www.brendareevessturgis.com

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network and is the author of the award-winning children's book, Pinky Doodle Bug, which was self-published on LULU.com in 2011 and is now available wherever books and ebooks are sold. http://www.pinkydoodlebug.com

25 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Sugar From Your Food Choices - Best Ever You

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 25th, 2012

I've been on a sugar detox for 34 days. I've lost 12 pounds. Thank you for all of your emails and tweets and facebook posts in support. I've writing this blog because people having started to ask me "How are you doing this?"

Well, I've changed my food choices. Here are 25 ways I've changed my interactions with sugar.

For more information, please see our ebook called Ten Steps to a Healthier You.

1. Drink green smoothies Watch our segments on Fox and see our health and wellness section.

2. Don't eat sugary cereals or add sugar to it.

3. Eat fresh vegetables

4. Eat fresh fruit

5. Eat brown rice instead of white rice.

6. Eat whole wheat pasta instead of regular pasta.

7. Eat wheat bread or whole grain bread instead of white bread. Say no, when possible to white flour based foods.

8. Nix the honey habit.

9. Watch your coffee with sugar, tea with sugar intake.

10. Stop the ice cream intake.

11. Watch your peas and carrots. They are very sugary.

12. Change from white potatoes to sweet potatoes

13. Candy, Candy, Candy, No. No. and more No.

14. Dark chocolate in handfuls = sugar don't kid youself

15. Pass on the donuts, muffins and other breakfast sugar monsters.

16. Eliminate dressing on your salad and switch to freshly squeezed lemon.

17. Oatmeal. Just oatmeal. Hold the raisins, maple and brown sugar and milk.

18. Say no to processed, packaged foods, such as granola bars, fruit roll ups, fruit snacks and other sources of hidden sugars.

19. Hold the cream and dairy products.

20. Say no to fruit juices, soda and diet soda too. Drink water or decaf tea.

21. Pancakes with fruit and better than pancakes with syrup. No pancakes or waffles with white flour would be the best choice.

22. Eat spinach.

23. Don't drink alcohol or limit your intake.

24. Know where sugar lives and hides out. Here is a list of some of the possible code words for “sugar” which may appear on a label. Generally, anything on a label ending in “ose” can usually be assumed to be “sugar”.

.•Agave Nectar
•Barley Malt Syrup
•Corn sweetener
•Corn syrup, or corn syrup solids
•Dehydrated Cane Juice
•Dextrin
•Dextrose
•Fructose
•Fruit juice concentrate
•Glucose
•High-fructose corn syrup
•Honey
•Invert sugar
•Lactose
•Maltodextrin
•Malt syrup
•Maltose
•Maple syrup
•Molasses
•Raw sugar
•Rice Syrup
•Saccharose
•Sorghum or sorghum syrup
•Sucrose
•Syrup
•Treacle
•Turbinado Sugar
•Xylose

25. Pizza with veggies is still pizza. Watch how much you eat and try to use whole grain crust instead of regular white flour crust.

Love,
Elizabeth

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the CEO and Founder of The Best Ever You Network. She used to be a chocoholic and is now blending spinach instead of chocolate shakes.

ps- Elizabeth is the typo queen. If you see one, just let her know. Our editor "Liz" is reading labels.

An Aardvark and a Platypus

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 24th, 2012

An Aardvark and a Platypus

By Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

What if, as a child, A wasn’t for Apple, but instead A was for Attitude? Would it be as catchy?

What if, as an adult, A wasn’t for Apple, but instead A was for Attitude? Would your brain retrain?

The alphabet is one of the first things we learn in school. We have all sorts of songs ingrained in our heads to learn it, ways of remembering it and more. Think of the time you invest in a child teaching them to write the alphabet, memorize it and learn. Apply that concept to positive thinking and retrain your brain to think positively. It’s as important as learning the alphabet.

I encounter a number of people who are stuck for a variety of reasons. They are stuck in “I can’t mode. When I hear, “I can’t because” my brain translates that immediately into positive thinking llike “You can and here’s how”, especially after seeing my dad recover from medical issues.

In 2005, I sat with my dad, Jim Hamilton, at Sister Kenny Rehab Institute in Minneapolis. He was there recovering from a stroke and subsequent Coumadin induced brain hemorrhage, which required 3 brain surgeries. It was very unclear during those moments if all of his faculties, such as eyesight, speech, hearing would return.

One day the speech pathologist came into his room and said, “Jim, time for speech therapy. Let’s wheel you down to that area.” Now, my dad is around 6’4” and 280+ pounds and was in rough shape. I think at the time, he couldn't really even sit up, let alone carry on meaningful conversation. I think the last thing on his mind was speech therapy, but cooperation is key in the hospital, so nurses helped him out of bed, into the wheel chair and down the hall he went.

Now, my dad is very very smart. When he was in his coma from his stroke or unable to speak at other moments, my mom and dad had a code of blinking twice if he could hear mom or squeezing hands for pain. Mom and I were about to learn a new code.

So the nurse wheeled him into the speech pathologist room and was talking to him in this gentle, baby talk voice. We all found it so Pre-K and my dad, we could tell, found it completely annoying.

In that trying to be comforting voice, she said something along the lines of, “Now Jim, to gauge your speech capabilities, I am going to say a letter of the Alphabet and I’m going to have you say the first word that comes to mind. What do you think of when I say the letter A?”

Now, she was expecting words like “at, a, and” from a stroke patient who has had this bad of a stroke and this many surgeries, coma and all.

My dad said, “Aardvark.” and then rolled his eyes. That was our new code. The roll your eyes “do you think I am this debilitated that I’ve lost my mind too?” code.

He played along though.

She next said, “B” for which he responded, “Benevolence.”

Next came the letter “C”. His response: Courage.

Then D. Determination.

M was Movies, his favorite thing, but you could see his will power and positive thinking come through. I do believe F might have been choice profanity though. We blamed in on the drugs though. P was Platypus.

My dad was saying, “I can and I will.” It was a moment for all of us. A moment of hope, courage and also laughter, which is so key in these dreadful situations. He had not only had a stroke and three brain surgeries and was so ill, but through it all he maintained his wit and humor and it was his way of telling us he was going to be ok.

We aren’t born with our first words being, “I can’t”. It isn’t until we have a few life experiences that we learn what we are capable of or what other people think we are capable of.

Sometimes our successes get lost in life and we feel start to feel like we can’t or it’s too late to be that writer I always wanted to be, or that painter or that trip taker and we become stuck and often giving up.

When someone tells me, “I can’t” I go to the walls of Sister Kenny Rehab Center in Minneapolis and often want to take the “I can’t” person along for a field trip to show just what people can do with a lot less. When my dad had his stroke in 2004, we spent months in this facility wondering if dad would ever speak again, walk again or even see again. During those darkest moments, my mom and I would go for hospital walks. The art work displayed all around the hospital was beautiful and we would admire it. Then upon closer examination, we became inspired by what the people who couldn’t and had nothing left were doing to make the best of it. The blind were painting from memory. The Thalidomide babies were painting with their feet or stubs. The paralyzed painted with their mouth. People painted even with eyelashes and elbows. Not just average art work, but works of art. The Best of the Best. We came to life because of it. We thought, "It isn’t what you’ve lost, but what you have left." Just describing them to my dad, gave a will and how wonderful and thoughtful of Sister Kenny to make the entertainment match the moment.

You can.

I also constantly think about children and some of the things they endure to become adults.
For example, I have this mish-mash of emotions when I see all of these children on TV left down a parent or two by 9/11. I always think about the kids and how resilient they are.

It just sucks. Seeing a 10 year-old sobbing on TV because his father was killed.... He's now in his 20’s and while still sad, for some baffling reason he's not stuck in sorrow. He's productive? positive? Dealing with the punch? How?

But as I saw that all unfold on TV during the 9/11 Anniversary and am disgusted that it all happened, I was baffled that you don't hear the anguish in incredible rumblings and anger from the 10-year old above (now 20) who you would think would be as bitter as bitter gets, you know like become Mad Max or something.

Here is another: A while back here in Maine, someone here drowned in the river in our town. That someone was a 17 year-old boy. I don't think his parents or friends got up the next morning with smiles on their faces or gratitude for the days ahead. At some point they will need to again.

Same with the 20+ some people who were gunned down in Florida, when a person opened fired on them.

I think of the Karen Fouke’s of the world. Karen was riding along in her SUV just peacefully laughing and going to work, when her car was sideswiped and she was rendered paralyzed from the neck down. Life changed for Karen in that moment and instead of being brought down by change, grief and a solid case of the “I cant’s”, Karen had a fearless smile and endless determination to succeed.

I could go on and on with injustices, tragedies and situations that just aren’t fair. In fact, they can downright bring you to your own knees pondering your existence and wondering why these things happen.They can paralyze the best.

I’m talking to my mom on the phone right now as I write this and her added wisdom is this, “A lot of people my age spend their time wondering when their number is up. How they’ll die, when they’ll die and what their dying outfit will be. A friend mine the other day called me up and asked me if I would speak at her funeral. My response was, You found out your diabetic you’re totally ignoring. You’re drinking soda. You can’t bake enough homemade bread and I’m going to look at your grandchildren and say, evidently you weren’t important enough. I don’t think you want me speaking at your funeral. On the other hand, my 83 year old friend is so excited about my daughter’s wedding that she keeps sending me pictures on her cell phone of dresses she is selecting and has also gone on a diet.”

Mom adds, “You can spend all of your time in dying mode, or you can live. It’s your choice.”

Life isn't predictable, for the most part or at all really. Life isn’t fair. So while you are living, LIVE. If you are reading this, smile. You are alive. It might not be so easy to just roll out of bed with a smile, gratitude and a love for the day ahead! You might have to learn.

What if each night before you feel asleep, you spent a moment reviewing the day and giving thanks for all the great moments and for the crappy ones too?

The trick is to still do these things when life gets tough or throws you a curve or twist or fireball. Can you maintain a positive sense of yourself, be positive to those around you and the world as a whole under trying circumstances? It is difficult, but with thought you can focus on positive and not swim in a pool of negativity, stress or anxiety.

It’s all in the Positive Words You Sing.

What is your Alphabet of Life?

Love,
Elizabeth

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the CEO and Founder of The Best Ever You Network. Think positive. Be determined. Be confident. Be strong.

ps- Elizabeth is the typo queen, if you find one just let her know. She is researching Aardvarks and the plural of Platypus.

My Sugar Free Live - 11 lbs gone - Day 28

by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on February 19th, 2012

I have shed 11 pounds now in 28 days. following our Best Ever You Ten Steps to a Healthier You Plan .

I made one very small change that created a bigger ripple effect. That change was to eliminate as much sugar from my life as possible.

By doing that, I basically had to redo nearly everything I ate, because upon inspection, much of what I was eating was, in fact, sugar in various forms - bad forms, like pasta, rice, white bread, chocolate chips, chocolate ice cream, etc...

Instead of eating those foods, I decided to eliminate them entirely now (versus decreasing their portions) and change to whole fruits and veggies, chicken and more clean eating. I'm a pretty clean eater already due to food allergies, but I decided to really eliminate anything with sugar.

I also decided to add a green smoothie each morning to my food choices for breakfast. (You can see in previous blogs how my family reacted to blending up spinach!) 28 days later, however, it is so interesting how popular green smoothies are becoming in our home!! Our oldest son, Connor dared take a sip and said, "That is so strange. It tastes like banana, but is green!"

My husband has purchased a green cup for me, but still won't drink one, which caused me to go back to Sara Sullivan, our nutritionist on Best Ever You and ask about different colors of smoothies for those with an aversion to drinking green.

Voila! Red Smoothies..... Sara and I went of Fox/Good Day Maine in a Green Smoothie vs. Red Smoothie way...http://www.myfoxmaine.com/story/16959862/red-vs-green-smoothies

I'm still on the green smoothie team!!

My next small change is going to start today now that I have my eating under control. I am going to be adding 40 minutes of exercise to my daily routine. I am not going to be particular about the exercise. I am just going to choose each day to do something. It might be a Planet Fitness Treadmill workout or it might be a wog up the block (that is my walk/jog). It could be a round of Hip Hop Abs or it might be Slim in Six. Heck, I may even throw in some Jane Fonda from the 80's. (Yes, I still have that in VHS!!)

Believe in Yourself. Everyone is different. Find what motivates you and inspires you and tweek it to work for you. Daily I am asked, "What/Whose plan are you following?" I answer, "MY OWN!" Don't compare yourself to others and look within for the answers.... and don't, please don't, if you are in your 30's, 40's, 50's say "I used to be...." Think about how you are now and what works for now. (I am not on the gymnastics mats 6 - 8 hours like IUSEDTOBE.!!)

Believe in Yourself. The Power of You. Be Your Best.

Love,
Elizabeth

About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Elizabeth is the Founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network and has finally decided to do something about those nagging 20 pounds.

ps- Elizabeth is the queen of typos. If you find one, just let her know. Our editor, "Liz" is busy trying to show people in the world that it is ok to drink green spinach for breakfast.

◀ Older Posts