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National Adoption Awareness Month

Meet The Pollard Family

STORY PROVIDED BY: CASEY FAMILY SERVICES OF PORTLAND, MAINE

Taken from "Voice for Adoptions- Adoptive Family Portraits Project, October 2008".

Here is their story ...

In Rita Pollard's 21 years of teaching, too often she would encounter a child whose future was stymied by a dysfunctional home environment. When she and her husband Bain married, both having come from first marriages with previous birth children, they both had a strong desire to evoke change and provide a good home for a vulnerable child. While their initial goal was only one child, the need for sibling placements was too compelling. As Rita jokingly quips, "...the rest is history."

Twin brothers Anthony and Dale entered foster care at age 18 months and lived in many placements. When the boys were seven years old, their foster family had plans to adopt them and their younger half-brother, Alan. When this plan failed and the foster family adopted only Alan, the Pollards volunteered to become a resource: "We really did not get recruited, but rather recruited ourselves."

Anthony and Dale may be twins, but they have completely different physiques, interests, and personalities. Now close to 18 years old, both boys have struggled with anger and attachment issues, in addition to other special needs. Each twin continues to work very hard to conquer maladaptive behaviors, and equip himself with positive life skills. Anthony and Dale are slowly maturing into productive young men.

The Pollards' Adoption Experience

"It has been the toughest parenting we have ever done."

The Pollards assumed that after parenting five birth children between them, they had surely accumulated sufficient parenting experience to handle most any child. The confounding needs of Anthony and Dale have challenged all parenting assumptions that Rita or Bain might have had. For them, the severity of the boys' special needs was a real "eye-opener." As Rita recounts, their pursuit of supportive services has taken them literally from the "Harvard and Duke Graduate Schools to the resource room, Charleston Correctional Facility and most places in-between!"

Sibling Connections

Although separated from their younger brother, the twins have been fortunate enough to have been raised together, especially given the challenges of their needs. They have also still maintained a close relationship for over a decade with their younger brother, Alan.

Words of Wisdom

Rita and Bain's firsthand experience highlights that "...children in the foster care system start life at a grave disadvantage, and that providing adequate financial and emotional support is extremely important." Specifically, Rita proposes that there are many teachers and administrators who could benefit from education around the emotional baggage" with which foster children are burdened.

Naturally, it follows that the foster and adoptive families who engage head-on in parenting these children will feel the trickle-down effects. Rita summarizes that, "Parenting any child is a difficult task, but when you add the emotional component that accompanies fostering and adoption, that parental task can become overwhelming." Rita postulates further that "...not providing them with post-adoptive support would be a tragedy."