It's a year of firsts for me. Everything this year will be the first time without Ben. It's been just over 4 months since Ben passed away. And here I sit in my favourite season- Christmas. I love decorating, festivities, family, fun. My heart has felt heavy as I pull out our boxes and tubs of decor.
I'm missing the joyfulness of doing it with him, the fun of opening boxes and finding our favourite ornaments... and yes, even the squabbles we had around putting up lights. Oh, those lights.
I know I'm not alone in feeling weird this Christmas. This year has turned us all upside-down. Everything is a bit new, a bit different, a bit strange.. for all of us, even without a big loss. But it would be even sadder for me... to have a house without Christmas spirit.
My thoughts are this: Do December!
Do the things that bring you sparkle and joy!
Decorate, music, bake cookies.
Even if these activities are mixed with sadness or difficult moments, that's okay. This is the month to focus on those magical moments and allow them into your life. Embrace and amplify them. The hardships you face won't go away, won't be instantly solved or 'fixed' ...but you are still allowed to smile, celebrate and decorate.
It wasn't easy putting up my tree alone, but it looks just beautiful and my grin slowly slides in whenever I see it. Small joys warming my heart as I ....Do December!
About Kris Fuller
Kris Fuller is the CEO of Your Life Sparkles and the Chief Creative Officer of The Best Ever You Network. She is the author of Best Ever You: 52 Week Journal to Your Bravest, Boldest You and Pinky Doodle Bug, both co-authored with Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino. Her latest book, Terramara: Mara's Transformation was published by Waldorf Publishing and is available wherever books are sold. Visit KrisFullerAuthor.com for more information.