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Do You Want to Be Right or Happy? You Can’t Hold onto Both


The desire of being right is our biggest limitation in life. It stops us from changing, because we must make the right change, it stops us from creating, because we do not want to make mistakes and finally it stops us from being happy, because we spend more time judging others for being wrong.


The concept of being right


Judgement

Functioning from “being right” requires you to constantly be in judgement of everything and everything around you – including yourself. What you consider as right is good, what you consider as wrong is bad. It takes away the diversity of our lives that brings us joy and happiness. You create your life from functioning the right way, rather than living and exploring the unknown.


Superiority

Another interesting aspect of being right is superiority. Who can give someone the right to determine what is actually right and wrong on our lives? We do have rules and regulations that make it easier to live together in a society – but this has nothing to do with the desire to be right. The desire to be right that limits you is the judgement of the behavior or acts of others. We cannot change the way other people act or be; we can only change our point of view. Judging someone else’s behavior as wrong and knowing what would be right means to function from superiority: “I know better”, “I am more right than you.” This disempowers everyone around you, including yourself.


Depending on other´s opinions

Finally, the desire to be right will always require you to function from what other people think. The most common reason to be right all the time is to be accepted by others, to be loved and admired. We try to make everything “right” so that nobody judges us. The good news is: people will always judge you, if they want to, no matter how “right” you behave. So why would you care if you cannot change it? The bad news is: You do exactly the same: You judge others from your own point of view, and not from who the other person truly is.


From his own point of view, everyone is right

In general, nobody intentionally does mean or wrong things. The moment they act, they are convinced that they are right. Otherwise they would not do it. And this is why the concept of “being right” can only lead to limitations: it’s an ongoing vicious circle that takes you down the more you do it.


Transforming from being right to being happy


Allowance

The first thing you have to be aware of is the fact that being right is a judgement and that judgments do not change anything. Not the other person, not yourself. It is the confirmation of an act or behavior that you cannot change. Being happy rather than right requires you to let other people be who they are. Their life is none of your business. Allowance is a state of being where you are aware of who the other person is.


No Judgement

Seeing who someone is, is nothing else but an information. It does not require you to have an opinion about it and you do not judge this person for being that. That does not mean that you have to align and agree with this person. You can have a totally different opinion or point of view. The element that limits you, is the judgement you add to it; The desire to tell them how wrong they are. No judgement means to give the other person choice for what they are doing or being without any point of view what that is. You can always say “OK, I know now who you are; that does not work for me, good bye.”


Include yourself

The concept of allowance and no judgement also applies to you: How many ideas, creations or desires have you not started so far because you were afraid of doing it wrong or making a mistake? And how many people wait until the perfect time or moment instead of just getting their ideas and creations out there? Being in allowance with yourself and having no judgement about the way you are will free you from the fear of failing or being judged.


Being free

The concept of being happy instead of right will even go further. It is not just being happy, it is being free. Once you get over the point of view that you always have to be right you will not only be happy, you will be free. Free from limitations, free from depending on the opinion of others and free of the idea that you have to make it the right way or may fail.


It will also lead to a space of more creation: rather than judging someone else or looking at how right or wrong things are, people will start looking at the creation of everything. If nothing could be right or wrong anymore, how much more inspiring ideas would we allow ourselves to create? And how much fun and excitement could we all have in our businesses if the final result would not matter, but the fact that we at least tried. Being right will always requires a final judgement, a result that focuses at something that has ended and cannot be changed; being in allowance and acknowledging each single step invites you and everyone else to value the moment, to enjoy the journey and to keep moving on. Your business, your creations and your life are designed to go on, so why would you stop them with a judgment? Whatever you create - it has not ended yet, so it is simply too early to come to a conclusion.



Dr David Kubes is an international lawyer specializing in aviation law, finance and project management. In 2006 he opened his own boutique law firm Kubes Passeyrer Attorneys at Law. A savvy entrepreneur, he owns several companies including an import-export company in Cuba, an Art Gallery in Vienna and his own real estate development company in Vienna. Kubes is fluent in German, English, Spanish and French which allows him to work and negotiate with different cultures in different languages, and travel extensively for both work and pleasure. He is a European-licensed coach and alternative dispute resolution practitioner and heads an international coaching and consulting company. He is a certified facilitator of several Access Consciousness® special programs, including Right Voice for You and Wealth Creators Anonymous. Follow David.

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