Have you ever found yourself discussing the actions or attitude of someone else? It goes something like this, “You see what she did?” “Wow, I don’t understand why she did that? I would never react to that situation in that manner!” The more important question is – are we being resourceful when we criticize another person’s attitude or actions?
Perhaps you don’t have all of the details. Or maybe there’s more to the story or situation than you’re aware of. The information you’re privy too (and in judgement of) could just be a small part of an even bigger picture! Which could include the real explanation of why the person had the reaction or attitude they did.
It is naive to have such judgments about others. And yet we train for this throughout our schooling, with family, and with society to forever compare ourselves and judge others.
In nature, by default there is no comparison, a tree is a tree. The tree will not say to the tree next to him: “I am bigger than you.” He is just a tree with other trees.
How much more productive would we be if we acted more like trees? I know – it sounds silly, but truly, how much greater could our influence be on those around us if we did not compare. If we were just a tree that was content with being who we are – and was just as content with the person next to us being who they are.
Casting judgment and making comparisons can destroy the world of the other person and your own world too. They are not creative, nor productive.
When we make statements like, ‘I don’t understand why he/she reacted that way,’ you lock that person into the situation – leaving little room for truth to be fostered.
The first step is to stop judgment, opinions, and comparison. What if what’s happened in a particular situation was just an interesting point of view? What if we give people the opportunity to be who they are and allow them to be right or wrong without judging them for it?
And what if the critique of this person was really about us not wanting to change something about ourselves? I admit it is far easier to see in others what needs to be changed that to look internally at what we need to change.
That being said, what judgments of ourselves do we have? Are these judgments blocking us from being fruitful in our life and our business? With all these judgments we are creating a separation with the person.
What else is possible?
By incorporating this question into the situation, instead of judgment, it shifts the energy. It opens the door to new possibilities.
If you are in judgment you are closing the door to possibilities. If you are living out of a judgement-free mindset, you are open to the unknown and new possibilities.
What kind of impact could this way of thinking with your colleagues or with your boss?
Perfection as an enemy
We have all heard the statement, “Perfection is the enemy of good.” When doing a project for your business, is it with the state of mind ‘things must be perfect’? While this may seem like a good way to stay focused on the details, having this sense of perfection is a killer of time, health and so many things.
When your attitude is attached to perfectionism, what can really be created? By doing the work without focusing all of your energy on everything being perfect, you’ll be more attentive to the time and plan, and you’ll allow your focus to shift from everything being “just right” to actually staying on target.
What if perfection was just a projection you have on how things need to be done? Again, keep your attitude in check or you will reduce your capacities to accomplish things.
All the expectations you have with your job and your colleagues, are they are blocking you? Expectations are our way of waiting for the things happen, or how something will turn out. In a nutshell, expectations are our way of wanting to control how the universe will give you what you want. How much separation do you create when you have expectations?
What if the expectation you have was just a projection of someone else, or a judgment or opinion? Having an expectation brings you to a conclusion, and with a conclusion there is no choices, and no possibilities. Can you imagine just being you without expectations?
A tree doesn’t expect to grow on the left and then on the right, he is just growing. What will be your attitude at work if you have no expectations? Can this affect your role and permit to receive more from your colleagues, your business?
What would it take for you to start now to examine your attitude, to take more altitude and being beyond this reality? Is it time to open more possibilities for others and for you?
Christian Verny has been an IT consultant for over 30 years and has managed hundreds of projects for various companies in France and around Europe. In 2016 he discovered Access Consciousness and a new way of being, and today he is a Joy of Business Pioneer, overseeing all IT courses and topics for Joy of Business. Naturally rationally mind, calculated and organized, Christian felt a new energy when he realized the power of seeing wider possibilities instead of doing business, relationships – and indeed life – in the exact same way for decades. Christian is also a personal development coach and Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator for specialty classes including Joy of Business and Right Voice for You.