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How to Know if You Under Valuing Yourself?
You may be doing it and not even realize it.
Think about when someone asks you what you are good at…
How do you answer that question? Do you jump in answer the question confidently. Or do you hesitate and then qualify your answer or apologize somehow. For instance, do you say, well I am good at XYZ but… Or when someone gives you a compliment like- wow, you are very organized, do you reply with- thanks but not really...
Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about your accomplishments? Can you easily answer the question what are your strengths or is the question what are your weaknesses more your cup of tea?
If you are job seeking - do you tend to look at the job listing-- read the job requirements and assume you are not qualified?
For those of you who were recently hired, what was your first thought after “YES!” Was it, wait, what if I fail, am I really qualified for this position, am I a fraud?
NOW, I know this is what many of you are thinking because this is what I am hearing from you. These are the conversations I am having, often, with my clients, prospective clients, even with my friends and family.
Here is the thing, none of it is true. STOP writing the wrong ending to your story. Here is the truth- you are worthy. You are qualified. You are not a fraud. You might stumble a little at first and then you will succeed because with every new job transition there is a learning curve and that is to be expected.
I talk about this often, but it is truly the thread that pulls everything together, which is being able to effectively communicate your story that makes all the difference. In my experience, this is directly correlated to if you undervalue yourself or not. If you can’t confidently, comfortably and effectively communicate your value then you fall back to the default which is less than your worth.
Being able to comfortably and confidently tell your story - share your value - tell your why - without apologizing - without feeling like you are bragging is what this is all about. This is my strategic superpower - being able to bring this ability out of each and every one of you. And I am not apologizing for it, especially in the spirit of this blog post. I am celebrating it.
When I first start working with a client, or even before that, our first conversation we discuss what they see as their biggest struggle. Usually what they DON’T see is that they are underselling themselves or under valuing themselves. While we will address the specific topic or issue first we have to look broader.
Under valuing yourself is usually directly correlated to needing a confidence boost and being about to access your inner leadership team and quiet that nasty inner critic. This is what we conquer first. Once you know know how to access your inner resources of strength and show as your best self then you can stop under valuing yourself, start owning your worth and effectively communicate your story with confidence.
--> Our inner critic has too much power in our heads, and we need to learn how to quiet that voice and how to bring to center stage our Inner Leadership team or Inner Allies. We all have them, its just knowing how to access them that can be challenging for many.
Ways You Might Under Value Yourself:
1. You might be reaching for a high level position or goal. But then the way you are presenting yourself doesn’t match. For example you apply for the VP of Human Resources but your application describes your skills and strengths as someone who has two years experience as an assistant.
- This is NOT because you don’t have the skills and strengths to support the VP position but because you don’t see or acknowledge these skill in yourself. (AKA- inner critic working here, undervaluing yourself here. SOLUTION: Step into your newly found ability to own your worth and access your inner leadership team.)
2. When you do get hired, right before the first day - do you think you are a fraud, and not really worthy of the position?
- Hello! If they hired you do you really think they spent all that time throughout the application process because you were unqualified?
- In today’s job market there are crowded applicant pools, it is hard to stand out and even get first interview, do you think that they are reaching out to people who seem baseline or under-qualified?
- Now, when that voice in our head starts the chatter “You aren’t good enough, you fooled them…” Just say STOP put that inner critic in timeout!
3. You are sitting at meeting and everyone is participating in the conversation. You have all these productive and valuable ideas in your head. YET you don't share them with the team or your supervisor. You see ways that you could contribute and help carry on the mission or expand the project BUT you second guess yourself. You worry no one will listen or like what you have to say so don't share. You leave the meeting feeling frustrated with yourself.
- How can your colleagues and supervisors know how much value you can bring to the organization if you keep it all inside your head?
- Maybe your evaluations say you don't "show up" at team meetings - meaning you are present but not an engaged active participant. (Could this be why you haven't achieve career advancement?)
- Again, in these situations we are under valuing ourselves, we are intimidated by our co-workers around the table. We allow our inner critic to hold us back from sharing our valuable ideas and knowledge.
- Once you start owning your worth and stop undervaluing yourself, you will have the confidence to comfortably participate at these meeting and bring your full value to the table. That inner critic's voice will lose its power.
- TOP TIP for owning your worth and being able to switch from under valuing yourself to effectively showing your value… ( this tip also works for building your confidence)
- Make a list of your accomplishments, make sure to include concrete examples not just words but stories.
- Make a list of your core skills and strengths with examples of you using them. (Think what are you the go-to person for with your friends, family and co-workers).
- It’s much easier to tell a story about how you were successful doing something than to say - I am good at writing. Instead you could say, I am strong writer that is demonstrated by the grant I was awarded for my writing skills.
- When we build your resume - they are now outcome oriented - they should show your accomplishments - you have living document that shows you how AWESOME you are.
- It’s much easier to speak to your value when you have tangible examples to use. Your success stories are these tangible examples.
- This also is key to helping us advocate for ourselves in many different situations.
AGAIN - this all comes back to being able to confidently, comfortably and effectively communicating your (professional) story!
Owning your Worth is taking a courageous step of intention that will lead you to great things. Who is with me?
Have questions? Comment here on the blog. Or directly reach out to me at romy@yournextstepscoach.com.
I am Romy Weiss, a Career Transitions & Certified Professional Coach. I am a mompreneur, I have three kids, a dog and a husband. We live in Maine. And fun facts- each of my children were born in a different state. I love coffee, chocolate and red wine. My superpowers include creative problem-solving and being able to organize and thrive in chaos. Oh, and I'm obsessed with elephants. I believe they are good luck. My grandmother instilled my love for them and they bring balance to the world.
As your NextSteps Coach, I enable, guide and empower adults who are overloaded and overwhelmed and at a career crossroads to change, reinvent, return to or advance their careers so they can find work/life balance and achieve their desired success. I teach tools and provide resources. I truly believe you should love what you do and do what you love. And yes you can do this at any age, as I did a career pivot in my 40s and you can too! I will partner with you to show you - you have transferable skills that are hireable and marketable and will bring value to another company, industry or career. I hold you accountable for your dreams and your goals and help you take the actionable steps to get there. I work with clients 1:1 and in hybrid coaching programs. All in live (virtual) settings so geography is never a barrier. My clients are getting noticed, being offered interviews, landing their dream careers and advancing them too. I get you. I see you. I believe in you. Curious to learn more: https://yournextstepscoach.com