If You are Constantly “SHOULDING” Yourself, Here is a List You Really Need

This week I’ve been hearing a lot of “shoulds” from my clients. Do you also tend to “should” yourself? These are just a few of the shoulds that I’ve heard in the past few days:

I should:

  • start writing my book

  • begin meditating

  • organize my bookkeeping receipts

  • begin an email newsletter

  • sell more

  • pitch my story to the media

  • finish my business plan

  • network more

  • post more on social media

  • start exercising

  • create meal plans

  • clean the garage

  • organize my closets

Does this look anything like the “should” list in your head? Most of these are good things to do, yet we never seem to find the time to do them. Why is that?

When you are in a mindset of constantly telling yourself what you need to do and should be doing, that energy can get very heavy. You’ll begin to think that there will never be enough time to do all the things you “need” to do. Your days will begin to feel longer and more tedious and you won’t really feel happy about your work or your life.

When a client is telling me all the things she needs to start doing, I usually ask this question:

What do you need to stop doing?

I talk every day with smart, successful women who all have a long list of all the things they need to start doing. I have never yet met a woman with a list of what she needs to stop doing, so I’ve gone ahead and created one for you here:


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Feel free to print this list and share with others.

Friends, when it comes to “shoulding” yourself, I used to be the master. This week, forget about what you need to start doing. Instead, work on your not-to-do list, and like me, you will suddenly find the time and space to do all of those really important things that you’ve not been able to get to.

If you’ve found this article helpful, please click on the ♥︎ heart ♥︎ below.

And leave me a comment, I’d love to know what’s on your NOT-TO-DO list.


Beth Caldwell is a ten-time author, success coach, the founder of Leadership Academy for Women and the SHIFTsuccess program for women. Her passion is to help women succeed in life and business. For more inspiration, check out Monday Morning Mastermind.  Her tenth and newest book, Women, Lead! is available in bookstores nationwide or here.


Watch a video about this topic here.