How many New Years resolutions have you made?
And how many have you kept?
Not so many?
I cannot tell you how many times I tried … and tried … for years … and I would greet each New Year with renewed seriousness and earnestness and intention and gravitas … It was exhausting!! And ultimately not very satisfying, as I observed my weight creeping back up or my continued attraction to men who preferred to be with other women or my inability to sustain a workout routine or my continued attraction to people who viewed themselves as superior to me or my earnings that never seemed to go above a ceiling … the lists went on.
So, I decided to quit with the resolutions … except I never really did … I just didn’t announce them or claim them or admit that that was what I was up to … with similar results.
And whose beliefs were those, anyway? Where did I make myself think I needed to weigh a certain amount, look a certain way, date a certain type of man, be surrounded by certain people, only earn money a certain way …?
Now, many years later, I no longer make New Years resolutions, and, I no longer feel bad about it! You see, the thing about making a resolution is that you have to judge that something that you’re doing and/or being is wrong!
As my friend and colleague, Dr. Dain Heer says,
Your point of view creates your reality; your reality does not create your point of view.
So, if you view something as “wrong” do you create more of it or can you change it? I’ve found that if I live my life by other people’s beliefs and points of view, I continuously fall short, and make myself wrong for not measuring up and for not being able to change.
What if you weren’t wrong? What if you were simply you? Not right … not wrong … just you!
Some people set goals or targets or intentions, instead of resolutions. Personally, I am equally as capable of judging my failure to hit targets as I am of judging my inability to reach goals or my inability to abide by intentions, let alone meet resolutions!
Instead, here’s what I do.
I look at the year that is about to end, and, I acknowledge the accomplishments, the achievements, the changes I’ve created, and the gratitude I have for everyone whose path mine crossed … not in some egocentric, narcissistic way. I just simply acknowledge it all and them … doubled my income, live in a beautiful home, work with creative and fun people, traveled to new places, have new friends … like that
Then I get clear on what it is I would like to have going forward, and I ask for it … more consciousness on the planet; even more people who are easy and fun to spend time with; being an invitation and inspiration, either directly or indirectly, to more people so they can have whatever changes they would like to have; additional revenue streams; more fun; more travel … whatever it is.
As Gary Douglas, the founder of Access Consciousness says, “What you’re not willing to ask for, you’re not willing to receive.” In order to have, it you have to ask for what you’d like to have. So, I ask for it, whatever it is.
Then, I ask questions, like, What can I be or do to create this?What can I be or do to create beyond it?What’s possible here that I’ve not acknowledged?
And, I ask myself if I’m willing to be or do whatever it takes to create that, to have that as my life, my living and my reality! Am I willing to receive it?
Here’s something I learned from Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer years ago, that I still do and that you can do as well. It’s called an energy pull and you can do it to bring into existence what you are asking for.
Get the sense of what it is you are asking for. It will have an energy. It might make you smile, feel light, happy.
Get the sense of the people you would like in your life … what it would be like having people who support you in ways you didn’t know you could be supported, who have your back, who see you as a gift and want to contribute to you, who don’t require anything from you, and who you contribute to.
Get the sense of what it would be like to do something that you love to do and are good at, that comes easy to you, where you wake up every day filled with enthusiasm for that.
Get the sense of a relationship you’d like to have, even though you may think it’s impossible. (Not ‘tall, dark and handsome,’ but ‘makes me laugh, we contribute to each other …’)
Get what it would be like to be so happy.
Get the energy of having the amount of money you’d like to have, and, multiply that by a factor of 10.
Get the energy of feeling connected to the entire universe, in communion with everyone and everything.
And get what it’s like to have gratitude for everyone, including you! And anything else you’d like to add.
Put all of that in front of you.
Now pull energy into that from all over the universe … more, more, more … until your heart fills up.
And then send trickles out to everyone who can help create that (whether you know them or not.)
Play with it … have fun!
Letting go of New Year's resolutions and actually asking for what I would like, and, being willing to receive it has opened the door to so many possibilities that I couldn’t even imagine, possibilities beyond my wildest dreams!
Wishing you all the very best!
Happy New Year!
By Anne Maxwell, LCSW