Empowering Parents: Stand for the Silent's Tips for Raising Resilient Children

Photo courtesy of Stand For The Silent

According to the dictionary, resiliency is the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. In other words, things happen in life, and we must be able to bounce back quickly, or it can take a significant toll. Many parents are facing this issue as they strive to raise kids who are resilient and can stand up to and bounce back from what life throws at them, including any bullying they may encounter.

"We all want to raise resilient children, but wanting to and knowing exactly how to is a different story,” says Kirk Smalley, co-founder of Stand for the Silent. "There are things we can do to help kids be more resilient. We are not their only influence as they grow up, but we can help by keeping those things in mind.”

According to Harvard University's Center on the Developing Child, building a child's resilience capacity is essential to their lifelong health and well-being. This is because resilience reduces the effects of significant adversity or toxic stress on early development and helps people overcome serious hardships. They report that some children develop resilience while others do not. The good news is that resiliency can be strengthened at any age, so it's never too late to make it a focus.

Here are some things parents and caregivers can do to help strengthen resiliency in children:

·      Encourage Open Communication – Children need an environment where they feel safe and can express their feelings and concerns. Check in with them regularly to ask about their day, friendships, and any challenges they may be facing.  

·      Teach Problem-Solving Skills - Encourage your child to think critically about challenges. Ask guiding questions that help them brainstorm solutions rather than immediately providing answers.

·      Model Resilience – Children often learn more from watching what their parents are doing than listening to what they say. Demonstrate resiliency and share experiences of overcoming challenges and obstacles. Show them how you manage the stress from such situations. They will learn that challenges happen to everyone and that they can be overcome.

·      Encourage Independence – Many parents struggle with giving their children more independence, but it builds confidence and helps them learn to navigate challenges. Allow them to make age-appropriate decisions and face the consequences. This builds confidence and helps them learn to navigate challenges on their own.

·      Promote Empathy - Teach your child to understand and respect others' feelings. Discuss bullying scenarios and encourage them to consider how their actions affect others. Show empathy to others so they see it in action.

·      Set Realistic Expectations - Help your child set achievable goals and understand that failure is a part of growth. Celebrate their efforts, not just their successes, to reinforce the value of perseverance.

·      Teach Coping Strategies - Equip your child with tools to manage stress and emotions, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or journaling. Practice these techniques together so they feel comfortable using them independently.

·      Encourage Positive Relationships - Help your child build a supportive network of friends and mentors. Encourage them to engage in activities where they can meet peers with similar interests. Talk to them about healthy relationships and why they are important.

·      Discuss Bullying Openly - Have honest conversations about bullying, its effects, and how to respond. Role-play different scenarios to help your child practice what to say or do if they encounter bullying. Children need to know what to do if they see bullying or are victims of it.

·      Stay Involved - Be active in your child's school and extracurricular activities. This will help you stay informed about your child's environment and show your child that you care about their experiences.

·      Teach Assertiveness - Help your child learn to stand up for themselves respectfully. Role-play assertive communication techniques, such as using "I" statements to express their feelings. Bullies tend to pick on those who they feel will not stand up for themselves.

·      Encourage a Growth Mindset - Teach your child that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning. Praise their hard work and resilience rather than just their achievements.

·      Limit Screen Time - Monitor and limit exposure to negative influences, including cyberbullying. Encourage healthy online habits and discuss the importance of digital citizenship.

·      Seek Professional Help if Needed - If your child is struggling significantly with resilience or bullying, consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist who specializes in child development.

“When we do some of these things, we are going to help children be more resilient, which will help them immensely,” added Smalley. “We are happy to visit your school or community and further help put bullying in the spotlight so it can be addressed. We are reducing bullying one school at a time.”

Not only is resiliency helpful when it comes to bullying issues, but it is also related to fewer mental health problems. According to a study published in the journal Current Opinion in Psychiatry, a review of 25 published studies showed that a higher level of resilience is related to having fewer mental health problems. Researchers report that resiliency is strongly associated with mental health in children and adolescents.

Connect:

Stand for the Silent travels the country, giving presentations about bullying to schools, providing bullying prevention, giving out scholarships, offering intervention strategies, and more. Those interested in getting involved can start a chapter of the group in their area, obtain a free K-2 bullying prevention curriculum or cyberbullying handbook for parents, host a presentation at their school, introduce the How All Started video, and donate to help support the cause. To get more information, visit the site at: https://standforthesilent.org/