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Are You Selling to Your Network? Well Don't!

I’ve noticed that people in business networking groups have a tendency to “sell” to others in the group. Educating your network about the type of referrals you want is much more important to your networking efforts. This demands a shift in how you see your networking partners. They are not the clients! They are, in effect, your sales force! In order for any sales force to get out there and sell you effectively, they have to know who to sell (or refer) you to and how to sell (or refer) you.

When people join a networking group they tend to focus on convincing people in that group to try their product or service. They show them all the finer points of what is available and attempt to close the deal with their networking partners.

I don’t disagree that in order for the members of your networking group to refer you effectively, they must be familiar with what you have to offer; however, when you are in front of them, it’s important to resist the urge to sell to them!

Below are four tips for incorporating what I call the “3+1 Process of Networking” with your referral partners:

1. Does “anybody” know “somebody”? I often hear members of networking groups say things like “anyone who needs…” or “everyone who is looking for…” Usually, when I hear anyone or everyone, I tune out, because I know so many “anyones” and “everyones,” that I end up referring no one! This is an interesting dynamic, but I think it has a lot to do with information overload. Using a catch phrase that is so broad and generic will limit the effectiveness of the results you will get.

2. Specific is terrific. Break your business down into specific products or services. It is very tempting to start out your personal introduction with a statement like: “we are a full-service business that does XYZ…” Resist this urge! Don’t waste the opportunity by painting with the “full-service” brush. Instead, over the course of a year introduce a specific element of what it is that you are selling or providing with each and every meeting. Get detailed! Educate your networking partners week by week with key elements of your business based on a specific product or service that you provide. Sharpshoot your talk, don’t shotgun it!

3. Teach your network members what your “dream referral” looks like. If you could come to your next networking meeting with a walking, talking dream referral in tow, what would he or she be like? Be very descriptive of this person as you talk to your networking partners, so descriptive that it’s like that person is in the room with you. The more details you provide, the greater the chance that your partners will recognize that person when they come across him or her outside of the meeting!

Plus one more: Share customer stories. This is a highly effective way to educate your networking partners about what it is that you are looking for as a new customer or client. By sharing the qualities and aspects of your current clientele, you are illuminating the canvas for the rest of the group so they can see the picture you are portraying for them. When appropriate, consider bringing in a customer or client to talk about how you have helped their business. These kinds of interactions go a long way toward educating the group as to the type of person you wish to have referred to you.

You should be trying to “educate a sales force” instead of trying to “close a sale.” Shift your intention in the group and you will find that the quality of referrals will shift for the better, as well. Your time to close the sale will come when you are with the referrals that you will receive. By keeping your focus on educating your networking partners about what type of referrals you wish to receive from them, you will find that the referrals will be a higher caliber.

Most importantly, those referrals will have a better chance of becoming closed sales than if you try to sell the members on what you are offering. Keep in mind that when you join a network like BNI, you are partnering with a group of people who will become your sales force so, educate, educate, educate them on how to refer you.

What go-to phrases do you use to educate your network on the products and services you offer? What tactics have you tried that simply don’t work? Let me know in the comments below!

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (, the world’s largest business networking organization. His new book, Avoiding the Networking Disconnect can be viewed at


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