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How Much Do We Let Our Fears Control Our Lives?

Updated: Apr 26, 2019


I have been thinking a lot about how we make decisions. I’ve noticed that my friends, family, clients and myself often make decisions that stem from fear. And when we are operating from this space, we are not showing up as our best self or calling forth our wisest self. So it got me thinking, what we are missing out on if we make a decision … life choices out of fear.

Are you ready to stop letting your fears be in the driver's seat? 😱

How many of us operate in the mode of fear paralysis?

Meaning, are the what-if risks and worry, always out weighing the what-ifs of wonder and hopefulness.

Or we are waiting for the perfect time or moment, or to get it JUST RIGHT?

=> So therefore we don’t do it, start it, send it, make it. We constantly instead think or assume that next week or next month… will be better?

Or maybe I should not accept that offer, apply for that job or leave this one.

=> Because there could be a better one that comes along.

Or don’t climb too high - you might fall. Don’t invest you - might lose out. Don’t spend the money if you are not guaranteed results.

Can you relate? Let me know.

Here’s the thing…

1. Life is messy #keepingitreal #lifehappens

2. Perfection DOES NOT EXIST - Neither does the perfect time

3. There will always be another best thing but doesn’t mean this opportunity isn’t good or worthy (as a matter of fact, this IS the next best thing from the last time).

4. There are no guarantees in life. NONE. You might fall. You might lose out. You might not get a return on your money.

BUT that is operating out of fear. NOW I am not saying we don’t pay attention to red flags. And we should do risk assessments. BUT we should take the risk. Some risks are worth it. BECAUSE the magic, the transformation happens outside our comfort zone.

If we want something to be different, change will NOT happen by doing the same things. Change is and of itself is scary. But that doesn’t have to mean bad or risky (overly risky) or negative. Pushing ourselves provides growth. Pushing ourselves provides learning. Pushing ourselves gets us what we want.

So what do we do about it, how do we overcome the fear and paralysis?

First, we need to stop writing the negative story. We need to quiet that inner critic. This is one the first things I work on with my clients. Because knowing how to bring your best self forward and not listen to the negative talk and self-sabotage is a big part of the process.

THEN YOU NEED A PLAN. If you follow me, you know me and my action plans. BUT without an action plan you will be flying by the seat of your pants and that is not comforting.

The best way to combat fear, anxiety and stress is:

>Strategy and planning.

>Mapping out what you want to do, how to do it and what steps are needed.

>Chunking it out so its manageable. Look at it in pieces.

=>BOOM Less scary.

Still worried. Fears still consuming you.

Then we break it down more, why is the fear still in control. Is this worry real or is the inner critic in control?

→ Do you need more information? Research gathering might be needed. That’s okay.

→ Work with a someone. Accountability Partner, a coach.

-- Doing things alone is way more scary than when you have a partner.

→ We need to turn our fearful thoughts into positive thinking.

Take this case study on career advancement:

I work with clients regularly who tell me that they can’t change careers or can’t get ahead. That they have been trying for a while and nothing is working and they are not worthy.

-> Changing or promotion- when you are alone with your thoughts its all about I can’t.

When I work with my clients. They realize they can. WHY- because they have a safe space to discuss their fears, concerns, and anxieties.


When you say them out loud, tell them to another person, they lose some of their power. Then having someone to troubleshoot, brainstorm or brain dump with makes all the difference. Suddenly you can realize all you can be. Suddenly you have permission to be you and shine.

-->We all have inner resources - strengths - but we don’t always tap into them. These inner allies allow us to show up as our best self in different situations.

Who do you need to be right now to be your best self?

To show your talent, step into your value, be focused and hold yourself be the best version of you.

I work with clients every day and regardless of what their desired goal is, this is the core to achieving it. Being able to tap into YOUR OWN INNER GREATNESS.

“Too many of us our not living your dreams because we are living our fears” - Les Brown.


I work with my clients on this. I hold my clients accountable for their dreams and goals. We create executable and realistic action plans. I love helping clients find their why, get clarity, stop undervaluing theirself, gain career confidence and start effectively communicating which leads them to accomplishing their career goals and achieve career success. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. WITH EVERY CLIENT.


What would be possible for you if that was you?

Have questions? Need support? Comment here on the blog. Or directly reach out to me at Want to take the conversation a step further. You want to get clarity, I am here to help you…

Want to stop struggling with undervaluing yourself? Advance your career with confidence and claim your seat at the table? The download my FREE Training Video and Supporting Workbook Training kit.

I've got you covered!

I am Romy Weiss, a Career Transitions & Certified Professional Coach. I am a mompreneur, I have three kids, a dog and a husband. We live in Maine. And fun facts- each of my children were born in a different state. I love coffee, chocolate and red wine. My superpowers include creative problem-solving; being able to organize and thrive in chaos and effective communication. Oh, and I'm obsessed with elephants. I believe they are good luck. My grandmother instilled my love for them and they bring balance to the world.

Career Coaching, getahead, dream career, leadership skills, career advancement, communicationskills, job search
Hello, I'm Romy - Your NextSteps Career Coach!

As your NextSteps Coach, I enable, guide and empower adults who are overloaded and overwhelmed and at a career crossroads to change, reinvent, return to or advance their careers so they can find work/life balance and achieve their desired success. I teach tools and provide resources. I truly believe you should love what you do and do what you love. And yes you can do this at any age, as I reinvented my career in my 40s and you can too! I will partner with you to show you - you have transferable skills that are hireable and marketable and will bring value to another company, industry or career. I hold you accountable for your dreams and your goals and help you take the actionable steps to get there. I believe is dreaming big and having it all. But then making realistic action plans to get there. It’s not how many steps it takes to get there, its about making sure you are always taking forward action.

I work with clients 1:1 and in hybrid coaching programs. All in live (virtual) settings so geography is never a barrier. My clients are getting noticed, being offered interviews, landing their dream careers and advancing them too. And they are confidently, comfortably and effectively communicating their story. I get you. I see you. I believe in you. Curious to learn more, let’s talk and strategize:


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