Our brain is wired in such a way that the "fear" or "anxiety" response is instinctively
triggered by the first sign of your perceived insecurity - like not feeling perfect, not
being heard, not being loved, abandoned, or the thought of letting go of an
attachment like: alcohol, coffee, sugar, blaming others, suffering, anger,
or anything to do with having to take responsibility or being responsible.
Remember, these insecurities do not have to actually be real, we only have to believe they are real for a cascade of harsh, heavy, aging, neuro-chemical responses to be
triggered and initiated - pounding and bruising our body like being in a prize fight.
These responses are essentially the same as "fight or flight" when harm is near - are very depleting, and when repeated over and over and over they become abusive - abusive to yourself, and abusive if projected towards another, hence, the concept
of projecting your pain onto another, over and over. No Love.
Blaming another over & over for something that is your responsibility is abusive to you, and to the another. Drinking over and over - something that is your responsibility - is abusive to you, your liver, and quietly to another in your life. Getting angry or over-reacting or being impatient or being dramatic is harsh, but over and over and over is abusive on your body, your mind, and drains your spirit, and the mind, body, energy, and spirit of another.
Yes, not feeling enough or i.e, being in a constant state of blame or anxiety is abusive -
like pounding your body with excess cortisol and depleting, aging chemicals. Yet most will deny it ever being abusive, softening it with words like: "it wasn't abusive, it was only loud, or a little drama, or maybe harsh, or once in a while." A total egoic answer, in total denial, low vibration, with no love - to themselves, or another.
Now think about a child growing up without much love or acceptance - in a family where the parents think that they are "there" for the child, loving and accepting, but are really not - emotionally, or physically for that child's development.
For a child, even slightly abandoned by primary child caregivers, even if only emotionally, can be a survival issue, since they are dependent on these individuals, not just for food and shelter, but other survival needs - love and acceptance, nurturing,and nourishment.
Children who are raised in these environments often "shut-down" emotionally as a coping mechanism in order to escape their pain and reality.
So they stuff their emotions of fear, uncertainty, and unworthiness to be perfect, to be loved, and carry their coping mechanisms into adulthood where they can live in a constant fear of being betrayed, not being heard, scared to be alone, or be abandoned by those who love them - they trust no one.
Very harsh, tons of depleting neuro-chemicals - abusive actually, and no love - from self, or from another.
They may also exaggerate a sense of being unworthy of love, since they didn't receive much as a child. As a result, the feelings of solitude, being in love, or in relationship are scary because they are unable to reveal their vulnerability and low self-esteem without
reactiveness and embarrassment.
Yet they create methods to gain attention that are often anxiety based, as well as attempt to meet life's needs through other people, things, and attachments - become co-dependent.
Remember, being dependent on others to meet emotional needs for a sense of security is a losing formula and produces - fuels more unworthiness and insecurity - harsh on yourself, not loving, and when repeated over and over, even abusive - like being pounded in a prize fight.
The only one who can make you feel whole is you yourself - and that is the journey, that is the path, and that becomes the way, the way to healing, not blaming, but finally taking responsibility and learning about love, true love, not conditional love - and finding one's
true self - through peace, joy, love, and happiness, unconditionally.
Where the Possibilities are Infinite.
ps: join us at cycling studio on saturdays at 4pm
for a truly thought-provoking, physically-challenging, and
spiritually-open indoor one hour training ride.
call 310.917.1116 and reserve a bike.
720 wilshire blvd. santa monica