By Dr. Katie Eastman
You may be grieving right now. Why? Because you are experiencing loss—not just the loss of something tangible, but also of something you hoped for: a vision, a way of life you anticipated. Instead, you’re faced with the unknown, fearing the opposite of what you had hoped for and grieving both what is and what may never be.
Thinking about your emotions in this context can help you understand and find ways to cope with this sense of loss, along with the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual responses you may be experiencing.
The Five Stages of Grief, developed by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, can provide a framework to navigate through this experience. They aren’t meant to be linear or absolute, but rather tools to help you recognize and process what you’re going through.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? I recently spoke with someone who was so lost in “what if” thoughts that they missed their bus stop. Have you felt physically nauseous, exhausted, or found yourself taking deep breaths? These are natural grief responses, as your body attempts to release tension and find calm.
Are you pretending nothing happened? Adopting the “I can’t think about this” approach? That’s denial, which can actually serve as a coping mechanism to help you keep going.
Do you feel on edge, frustrated, or without patience, as if anger is bubbling up over small things? This redirected anger often originates from deeper fears and a sense of loss.
Bargaining can appear in real life anytime you catch yourself saying, “Well, if I do this, maybe I’ll feel better.” Making deals with yourself is a way to ease discomfort.
Depression manifests as fatigue, disturbed sleep, or a sense of hopelessness when hope seems out of reach.
Then there is acceptance—moments when you reassure yourself that, somehow, things will be okay.
You may find yourself bouncing between these stages for a period of time, which will vary depending on your unique circumstances. So, how can you help yourself and support others?
First, own it! Acknowledge, “Yes, I am grieving over what I perceive as loss, and I want to be mindful of how it’s affecting me so that I don’t hurt others.”
Reflect on your experience: What am I feeling? What thoughts and physical sensations am I experiencing, and how is this impacting my beliefs and overall well-being?
The five stages are a helpful tool, and understanding yourself and your experience is the first step toward healing.
While we don’t know what’s coming, we know that for some, hope is renewed, while for others, hope feels lost.
Let’s stay united and supportive, wherever hope lies right now. Aren’t we meant to be in this life together?
About Dr. Katie Eastman
Dr. Katie Eastman is a national grief/trauma therapist, speaker, and consultant with ReCreate Coaching and Counseling in Anacortes, Washington. As a licensed psychotherapist, licensed social worker, and life coach specializing in loss and transition, she supports individuals and communities before, during, and after serious loss for the past thirty years. By allowing the pain of loss to serve as an opportunity for positive change she helps people of all ages reaffirm and recreate meaning by revealing the individual and collective skills, gifts, and talents we each bring to the world. An engaging author and storyteller, she is known as an authentic force for good and love. Dr. Eastman was a student of Dr. Kubler-Ross and was deeply affected by her work throughout her career.
Dr. Eastman is the author and co-author of multiple books, including her new book UPLIFTING: Inspiring Stories of Loss, Change and Growth (Balboa Press, 2024) and PERCOLATE - Let Your Best Self Filter Through (Hay House 2014).
Visit: https://www.drkatieeastman.com/ for more information.
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