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Expert Parenting Advice: 5 Things Parents Should Never Say if They Want to Raise Successful Young People

Updated: Sep 17

By Margot Machol Bisnow

 




I asked 70 parents of successful entrepreneurs what the most important things they were careful not to say that led their children to success. To my surprise there was huge overlap in what they never said.

 

Even though all parents love their children and want them to be successful, that’s not the same thing as believing in them and supporting their dreams. While most parents will say they believe in their kids, most actually don’t. Most parents tell their children how to spend their time, “suggest” what career they should have, urge them to get good grades in all their classes, and pressure them to get into and graduate from a good collegeThe parents of these successful entrepreneurs refrained from that.

 

These parents of entrepreneurs came to know better than to tell their children to stop spending so much time on their passion. They trusted their children to make good decisions. They supported their choices. They encouraged them to follow their passion. And they let them know that they would continue to support them through inevitable setbacks. They made sure their children knew that failure is how they learn and grow on their road to success.

 

These are among the things the parents never said:

 

1. You can spend time on your sport, but if you get one more C, you’ll have to spend more time studying.

Eric Ryan’s passion growing up was sailing — it’s how he spent most of his time in high school and college. He wasn’t a great student, but he worked hard at sailing because he loved it. He told me that’s how he developed the perseverance and grit necessary to succeed in business. And his parents were always supportive. The serial entrepreneur has launched three successful businesses: Method, Olly, and Welly, which together are valued at more than $1 billion.

 

2. Of course you can spend time making your movies in high school, but in college you have to major in something useful so you can get a real job.

Jon Chu started making videos in fourth grade. At first his immigrant parents were upset. But when they realized how much it meant to Jon, they became his biggest supporters. The hugely successful director of Crazy Rich Asians just finished filming Wicked for Universal with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo.

 

3. You finally got into a good college, so no, you can’t take a year off to work on your project.

Joel Holland started his first company, Video Blocks, while he was in high school. His parents were excited when he got into Babson, his first choice college, but when he told them he wanted to take a year off to work on his company, they said they’d support whatever he wanted to do. He sold half the company four years after graduating for $10 million, and when he sold the rest eight years later, Video Blocks was earning $40 million annually in revenue.

 

4. Of course you can’t quit law to follow some half-baked dream.

Unjoo Moon’s parents were initially upset when their daughter informed them she didn’t want to follow a career in law — a path they chose for her. But when they realized how much she loved filmmaking, they told her they knew she’d be successful if she worked hard enough at it. The film she directed, I Am Woman, a biopic about Australian singer Helen Reddy, won three major awards. Recently she directed Original, a dance film, with her husband, cinematographer Dion Beebe.

 

5. Why do you spend so much time playing video games? It’s more important for you to get good grades in all your classes.

Thomas Vu’s immigrant parents had a hard time understanding why he wanted to spend all his free time playing video games. Even though they had little money and never understood gaming, they bought him games they knew he would love. He joined Electronic Arts as an intern with one semester to go before graduating, and then joined Riot Games and became the lead producer of League of Legends, the world’s largest e-sport, with more than 100 million active players.

 

By avoiding these sorts of messages and allowing their children to pursue their passions, each of the parents showed a belief in their child to make good decisions. Their children were raised to have faith in themselves and knew they were always supported.


About Margot Machol Bisnow




Margot Machol Bisnow spent 20 years in government, including as an FTC Commissioner and staff director of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers. For the last 10 years, she has spoken to parent groups about raising creative, confident, resilient children who achieve their dreams. She served as an Advisor to EQ Generation, an after-school program in New York City that gives children the skills to succeed; on the Advisory Board of the MUSE School in Malibu, that prepares young people to live consciously through passion-based learning; and on the Board of Spark the Journey in Washington DC, that mentors low-income high school students to achieve college and career success.






Learn how successful entrepreneurs were raised! Could your children start a company that disrupts existing industries? Or a non-profit that helps people around the world? Or follow their passion as an artist or activist? And most important, lead a life of joy and purpose, to be happy and fulfilled? Margot Machol Bisnow, mother of two thriving entrepreneurs, reveals how to raise creative, confident, resilient, fearless kids who achieve their dreams, through 99 stories of families who did it.


Read stories from 70 families who raised true game changers. See family photos of these thriving entrepreneurs, both when they were young and today, and learn the secrets of how they were raised. The entrepreneurs include: film director Jon Chu; YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki; method products co-founder Eric Ryan; Kiva co-founder Jessica Jackley; Under Armour founder Kevin Plank; Chef Nyesha Arrington; Life is Good co-founder Bert Jacobs; TOMS founder Blake Mycoskie; actor Emmanuelle Chriqui; League of Legends gamemaker Thomas Vu; sweetgreen co-founder Jonathan Neman; Mama Hope founder Nyla Rodgers; Blue Bottle Coffee CEO Bryan Meehan; Grammy-winning songwriter Benny Blanco; Aviator Nation founder Paige Mycoskie; film director Unjoo Moon; charity:water founder Scott Harrison; supermodel Karolina Kurkova; Automattic founder Matt Mullenweg; Daybreaker co-founder Radha Agrawal; Union Heritage Capital CMO Nia Batts; breakthrough coach Quddus; Blue Man Group co-founder Chris Wink; FEED Projects co-founder Ellen Gustafson; Qey Capital co-founder Dhani Jones; TV host Tommy McFly; Hello Alice co-founder Elizabeth McGee Gore; Altimeter Capital founder Brad Gerstner; Modo Yoga co-founder Deena Robertson; designer Breegan Jane.

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I really want to hit like on this article. 😂 Great read!

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