Becca Pearce on Redefining Success, Overcoming Misalignment, and Why You Don't Have to Achieve to Be Loved

At Best Ever You, we believe success is about more than titles, achievements, or external recognition. True success comes from living in alignment with your values, finding meaning in your work, and creating a life that feels fulfilling from the inside out.

Today, we're pleased to feature Becca Pearce, author of You Don't Have to Achieve to Be Loved. Through her own experiences with professional loss, personal adversity, and life-changing health challenges, Becca was forced to reexamine everything she believed about success, identity, and self-worth. What she discovered was a powerful truth: our value as human beings is not determined by what we accomplish.

In this insightful interview, Becca shares how chronic stress is often rooted not in workload but in misalignment, why high achievers frequently stay in situations that no longer serve them, and how we can begin redefining success on our own terms. Her perspective offers a compassionate invitation to step off autopilot, reconnect with what truly matters, and create a life that feels as meaningful as it looks.

What led you to shift your perspective on success, stress, and fulfillment, and how did your personal experiences shape that transformation?

Two major life events lead to my shift in perspective.

In 2013, I lost a very public leadership role I had poured everything into. When that

happened, it felt like I had lost everything because my identity was tied to achievement.

Then in 2015, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

After surgery, I realized that the title, the money, the striving I had done for years -- none of it held the weight I thought it did. What mattered was time. Time with my family. Time being present in my own life.

Those two combined experiences forced me to question everything I had been taught about success and to redefine it for myself.

You talk about stress coming from misalignment rather than just workload. How can

someone begin to recognize the difference between the two?

Here’s the question I ask to discern between the two scenarios: Are you on the ship?

Do you believe in where the organization is going, how they treat their clients, and what they stand for? Do you feel good about being a part of it?

If the answer is yes, you’re likely dealing with a workload issue. You may have too much on your plate, but fundamentally you’re aligned with the work and the mission.

If the answer is no, you’re dealing with misalignment—and that’s a very different kind of stress. It doesn’t go away with a lighter week or a vacation because it’s not about how much you’re doing. It’s about whether what you’re doing actually fits.

What are some of the hidden signs that a person’s stress may be rooted in

misalignment rather than simply being overworked?

Misalignment shows up differently than overwork. It’s deeper, and often harder to name. You might feel a sense of dread that isn’t tied to your to-do list – a kind of heaviness that shows up before the day even starts. You may notice yourself feeling cynical when leadership talks about the future or feel disconnected from where the organization is going. Sometimes it’s more subtle, like hesitating when someone asks where you work, or feeling like what you’re doing just doesn’t matter.

Those are important signals that your values are being challenged.

Why do you think high-achievers, in particular, tend to stay in roles that are no longer aligned with who they are?

High achievers don’t leave easily because leaving can feel like failure.

For many, there’s still something to prove. To themselves, to others, to the version of

themselves that set out on that path in the first place. And there’s something in an

overachiever that relishes the stick-to-it-ivness of staying somewhere when it’s hard.

Staying proves that they’re stronger than whatever is in front of them.

But that’s where it gets tricky.

Staying isn’t always strength. Sometimes it’s a tool to avoid the harder truth that something no longer fits, and it’s time for a change.

For someone who feels something is “off” but can’t quite identify it, what are the first

steps to gaining clarity?

The first step is to identify what isn’t working.

Most people are able to tell when they feel frustrated, drained, or off, but it’s human nature to try to push through these feelings for the benefit of others. So, they push past it or tell themselves it’s not a big deal.

To gain clarity, dig into where you’re feeling these things. Get specific. What are you

resisting? Where are you disengaging? Where do you notice your energy drop?

Once you notice these things, you will be able to begin to articulate what’s “off” more specifically and gain the clarity you need to design your next steps.

How can someone begin to realign their work or career without making impulsive or

fear-based decisions?

With clarity comes the space to decide rather than react.

When you understand what isn’t working and what needs to change, you’re much more able to make decisions intentionally instead of emotionally. You’re not reacting to a bad day or a difficult moment -- you’re responding to a deeper understanding of yourself. The key is to begin the internal work to understand your needs sooner rather than later. When you’re already burned out, frustrated, or fed up, it’s easier to react impulsively. If you make decisions while you still have the capacity to think clearly and make thoughtful choices, you put yourself in the driver’s seat for your future.

What role does identity play in how we define success, and how can people begin to

redefine success in a way that feels more authentic?

Identity shapes everything about how we define success. For example, if you think success is tied to a show of wealth, you’ll feel successful when you can buy the car or watch what you think shows your wealth.

The challenge is that many people have never taken the time to define success for

themselves. They’ve inherited a definition -- from family, from culture, from the definition of the American dream -- and they’ve been chasing it without ever questioning it.

A simple place to start is to ask yourself, Do I feel successful today?

If the answer is no, then the next question becomes, What would make me feel successful on my own terms? You may be surprised to find that your success definition is closely tied to your core values.

Your book, You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved, carries a powerful message. What do you hope readers take away from it at a deeper, emotional level?

On a deeper emotional level, I want people to realize that they can change their lives.

So many people feel stuck on a path they didn’t consciously choose -- or one that used to fit but doesn’t anymore.

I want them to know there’s another way to live – that they’re not stuck.

What I hope readers feel when they finish the book is a sense of possibility. In the book, I give them the tools to find clarity, confidence, and emotional courage to pursue a deeply meaningful life. A life that doesn’t just look successful on the outside but actually feeds their soul.

How does chronic misalignment impact not just mental health, but physical and

emotional well-being over time?

Chronic misalignment keeps your body in a constant state of low-level stress, which over time, shows up physically – such as high blood pressure, increased risk of stroke, and other serious health issues.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Having your values challenged regularly changes how you show up in your life. People who are misaligned tend to disconnect or withdraw from what would normally energize them, and have less patience, less energy, and less capacity for the people and things that matter most. I’ve even seen clients end up on anxiety or depression medication because of their misalignment before they finally make the decision to move on. That’s the ultimate cost of staying too long in a situation that doesn’t fit.

For someone feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from their work, what is

one message or shift in perspective you would want them to carry with them right

now?

There are three main reasons people feel stuck:

1) Fear of financial insecurity

2) Fear of what others will think

3) Believing it's too late to make a change

All three of those fears/beliefs are a result of your brain trying to keep you safe. That’s what it’s designed to do. Our brains crave safety and security.

But what keeps you safe doesn’t often move you forward. It keeps you stuck

If you’ve thought “I need the money,” “What will my family say?” or “It’s too late to make a change”. -- It’s a sign that your soul is begging you for a change.

Don’t let your brain win the argument.

We hope you enjoyed this conversation with Becca Pearce and found encouragement in her thoughtful perspective on success, fulfillment, and living in alignment with your values.

In a culture that often celebrates achievement above all else, Becca reminds us that our worth is not something we earn through accomplishments, titles, or productivity. Instead, she challenges us to consider whether the lives we are building truly reflect who we are and what matters most to us.

Perhaps the most powerful takeaway is that feeling stuck does not mean you are trapped. With clarity, courage, and intention, it is possible to make meaningful changes that bring greater purpose, authenticity, and joy into your life. Success is not about proving your value. It is about honoring it.

To learn more about Becca Pearce and her book, You Don't Have to Achieve to Be Loved, be sure to visit her website and explore her work.

At Best Ever You, we believe that lasting success begins when we align our hearts, values, and actions with the life we truly want to live.

Thank you for reading.

Pause. Breathe. Choose.

When you grow, the world grows with you.