Tonight was one of those nights.
So much happened, and at the same time.. nothing much happened. At my volleyball game tonight (delightful and delicious... I love my team and the I look forward to Tuesday all week. It's just the right amount of sports mixed with laughter and shenanigans.)
Tonight's joke was about me taking my so-called complaints about my team to social media to publicly shame them. 'Just wait til you read my blog tomorrow!' I quipped
(more than once). ALSO I did rush home and make a TikTok about this... aggressive typing and I wrote a little snippet about it... I will post that too, naturally!
I'm home now unwinding and reflecting, as I do. Thinking about the ladies on my team. Some are new in my life and some are old friends. It makes me think about the blog I kept while Ben was sick. For 5 months, I wrote almost every day about our cancer journey, the ins and outs, the love and chaos, the humor while stage 4 tore us apart from one another.
There is one part of me that wants all the people in my life- including new friends to know about my journey, to know all about Ben, to know that I am a widow at ...gosh, now.. am I really 29? Time flies! (okay, you know I am 45...)
But how do I 'just' slip that in...? Nice play, I'm a widow. No, too sharp. Put your hand up... NO, too crass. Hey, I have a secret? Well, it's not a secret... it's just no longer on the forefront.
And then, I think about the people around me, too. What are they carrying? What is weighing on them? Because in THIS, I know I am not alone. In fact, earlier today, I saw a woman post about FIVE, yes FIVE recent losses in her life. I am not alone.
How do I navigate this? Obviously, I'm getting clever "Wid-Hey-Yo!" T-shirts made but besides that... it's a weird place to be. I have widow-friends (we need a cooler name, too...) and can relate, chat and share anytime I need.
But it's the moments when I feel desperate to share, to scream at the wrong place, the wrong time, to... remind people that I am a hidden warrior.
Or that, maybe, sometimes I'm not.
Tonight's 10 Cents is filled with love and hugs to all of you who are missing someone special, screaming inside, feeling the feels and just sitting with it. I am here with you and you can have one of my pennies.
(for love and luck but you're just borrowing it and I need it back tomorrow for another post... "9 Cents" does not have a good ring to it.)
About Kris M. Fuller
Kris Fuller is a sought after personal and corporate consultant, specializing in mindset, strategy, leadership and actions. As a trusted leader, influencer, consultant, trainer and speaker and best-selling author, Kris has helped thousands around the globe be their best and achieve world-class excellence. Kris is an author of multiple award-winning books in the self-help and children's book genres.
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