Beyond the Past: Matilde Hernandez on Healing, Identity, and the Courage to Begin Again

Life has a way of presenting us with defining moments. Sometimes those moments are filled with celebration and joy. Other times, they emerge from hardship, heartbreak, loss, or choices we wish we could undo.

Whatever our past may hold, one truth remains: it does not have to determine our future.

Many people carry invisible walls long after life's circumstances have changed. They may be walls built from shame, regret, trauma, self-doubt, or the belief that they are forever defined by one chapter of their story. Yet healing begins when we recognize that while we cannot rewrite our past, we can choose how we move forward.

In her new book, Beyond These Walls, wellness consultant, speaker, and coach Matilde Hernandez shares her deeply personal journey of rebuilding her life after incarceration, separation from her children, and profound personal loss. More than a memoir, her story is an invitation to anyone navigating a major life transition—whether recovering from trauma, rebuilding after divorce, overcoming burnout, healing from addiction, or finding the courage to begin again.

At the heart of her message is a powerful reminder: freedom may be granted by circumstances, but healing is an inside job.

In this Best Ever You interview, Matilde shares what it means to separate your identity from your past, move beyond survival, and embrace a life built on purpose, accountability, compassion, and hope.

“Freedom is granted, but healing is not.” What does that mean to you?

Freedom can be given to you physically, but healing is a decision you have to make internally. When I came home, I was free—but mentally, emotionally, I was still carrying shame, guilt, and the weight of my past. No one can do that work for you. Healing requires honesty, accountability, and the willingness to face yourself. I began to understand this when I realized that my environment had changed, but I hadn’t. That’s when the real work started.

When did you realize your story could help others?

It didn’t start as helping others. It started as survival. I was journaling, reflecting, trying to make sense of everything I had been through. But as I began to heal, I realized the things I went through—the shame, the separation, the rebuilding—were not unique. So many people were silently carrying the same weight. That’s when I understood my story wasn’t just for me. It was meant to give someone else language, hope, and a way forward.

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How did you separate who you are from what you went through?

That was one of the hardest parts. For a long time, I attached my identity to my mistakes. I believed that what I had done defined who I was. But I had to learn to look at my life differently. I am not my past. I am someone who experienced something, learned from it, and grew through it. That separation came through self-reflection, forgiveness, and choosing to see myself with compassion instead of judgment.

What would you say to someone who feels their past defines them?

I would tell them this: your past is part of your story, but it is not your identity. You have the power to decide what that story means. You can either let it keep you stuck, or you can use it as a foundation to build something new. Where you’ve been matters, but where you’re going matters more.

What does “stop running from yourself” look like in real life?

It looks like getting honest. It’s sitting with your thoughts instead of distracting yourself. It’s acknowledging your patterns, your pain, your triggers—without blaming others. It’s asking yourself hard questions like, “Why do I keep showing up this way?” and being willing to sit with the answers. It’s not comfortable, but it’s necessary. That’s where real healing begins.

What mindset shifts helped you move from survival to intentional living?

One of the biggest shifts was understanding that I had a choice in how I responded to my life. I stopped seeing myself as a victim of my circumstances and started taking ownership of my decisions. Another shift was learning to give myself grace while still holding myself accountable. And most importantly, I stopped waiting for everything to be perfect before moving forward. I started where I was.

What is Soul Care SWOT, and how can someone use it?

Soul Care SWOT is a way to assess your inner world with intention. It stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats—but applied to your mindset and emotional well-being.

Your strengths are what’s working within you. Your weaknesses are the patterns or beliefs holding you back. Your opportunities are where growth is available if you lean in. And your threats are the environments, habits, or thoughts that keep you stuck. It helps people move from being reactive to being aware. And once you’re aware, you can start making different choices.

What internal barriers do people face after major life transitions?

The biggest ones are shame, fear, and self-doubt. People question their worth. They wonder if they deserve a second chance. They hesitate to show up because they’re afraid of being judged. There’s also the fear of failure—what if I try again and it doesn’t work? These internal barriers are often stronger than any external obstacle.

How did separation from your children shape your purpose?

That experience changed me deeply. Being away from my children forced me to confront myself in a way I never had before. It gave me a different level of awareness, responsibility, and perspective. It also strengthened my purpose. I knew that if I was ever given the opportunity to rebuild my life, I wanted to do it in a way that not only impacted my family but also helped others who were going through similar struggles.

What does “living again” mean to you now?

Living again means showing up as your true self without hiding. It means forgiving yourself, letting go of what no longer serves you, and giving yourself permission to grow. It’s not about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about choosing to live with intention, even after everything you’ve been through.

If you are in a place where you feel stuck, ashamed, or unsure of what comes next, I want you to know this: it is not too late for you. You can begin again. You can rewrite your story. It may not be easy, but it is possible. Give yourself the permission to grow, to heal, and to become who you were always meant to be.

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Matilde Hernandez reminds us that healing isn't about pretending the past never happened—it's about refusing to let it have the final word.

Her story is one of resilience, personal responsibility, forgiveness, and the remarkable capacity we all have to grow beyond our circumstances. Whether you're navigating a life transition, carrying the weight of regret, or simply trying to rediscover who you are, her message offers both hope and practical encouragement.

As she so beautifully shares throughout this conversation, healing begins the moment we stop running from ourselves and begin embracing who we're becoming.

Thank you, Matilde, for your honesty, courage, and willingness to share your journey with the Best Ever You community.

To learn more about Matilde Hernandez, Beyond These Walls, or her Dare 2 Lift It wellness initiative, visit www.dare2liftit.com.

About

Matilde Hernandez is a Certified Personal Growth and Wellness coach, and community leader who has inspired many through her small business, All In One Cleaning Service. She is also certified at the highest level as an international John Maxwell speaker trainer and a DISC behavior analysis consultant.

Matilde Hernandez is a dedicated professional committed to fostering personal growth and well-being. With a bachelor's degree in business administration from American Intercontinental University and a master's degree and currently a student of performance psychology supporting individuals in healing from the inside out. She helps them on their wellness journey to reach their highest self.This involves setting strategic business goals to aid people in their journey of reconstruction after experiencing trauma, breakups, or other difficulties.

Matilde understands that life's challenges are unavoidable, yet she considers them opportunities for personal development and resilience.Her foundation course, Dare 2 Lift It, was created to support building individuals, offering a roadmap for personal growth and wellness. The course includes behavioral health analysis, business setup support, online coaching, and programs aimed at self-improvement. Matilde's message to the world is clear: "You deserve a healthy, positive, successful life. You deserve to start living again." For her corporate clients, she delivers stress management and effective communication training. These programs help restore, rejuvenate, and foster team building and effective organizational communication.

Mother of two, born in the Dominican Republic and raised in Miami, Fl. Her journey is fueled by her passion for adding value to others' lives and making a difference in her community. She actively works with nonprofits, focusing on youth development and providing skills training for young mothers.Her mantra, "It Starts With You," emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility in creating positive change. Whether it's within families, communities, or schools, she believes that everyone possesses the power to be the catalyst for transformation. She encourages others to recognize the light within themselves and use it as a tool to uplift those around them.