Lasting Wellbeing: Science-Based Practices to Find Calm, Clarity, and Meaning in Everyday Life

There’s no shortage of advice when it comes to feeling better.

More routines.

More habits.

More things to try, fix, or improve.

And yet, for many people, the result isn’t clarity—it’s overwhelm.

At Best Ever You, we talk often about finding alignment, creating meaningful change, and learning how to move forward in a way that actually feels sustainable. But one of the biggest challenges people face today isn’t a lack of effort—it’s knowing what truly works. What if wellbeing wasn’t about doing more…but about doing what matters, consistently?

In Lasting Wellbeing, Matt Bloom brings together decades of research and insights from more than 10,000 people across 25 countries to answer that exact question.

Instead of offering another one-size-fits-all solution, he introduces a more grounded, realistic approach—one built on small, evidence-based practices that support resilience, clarity, connection, and meaning over time. Because lasting wellbeing isn’t something you achieve overnight. It’s something you build—moment by moment, choice by choice.

Your work draws on data from over 10,000 people across 25 countries. What were some of the most surprising or consistent patterns you discovered about what truly supports lasting wellbeing?

“Small adjustments add up, over time, to lasting changes in our wellbeing.” Making big life changes is rarely a good choice. When we try to make a major shift, we often create other problems. Or we waste time and energy on “fixes” that fix nothing. Lasting wellbeing arises from integrating simple practices and small shifts into our daily life. The people who flourish over long periods of time, those who are able to live fully in good times and weather tough times with resilience, have integrated simple, but powerful practices like gratitude, prayer, self-distancing and time with loved ones into their lives.

Many people feel overwhelmed by stress, burnout, and constant demands. What do you think we’re getting wrong about wellbeing today?

Two things. First, I think we try too hard. We search high and low for the “best” practice or we imagine that caring for ourselves and those we love will take hours of time. Take the simple approach: integrate simple, evidence-based practices into your daily life. Be patient because small changes are adding up to big improvements.

Second, we rely far too much on influencers or others who don’t have the background or expertise to offer good advice. Scientific research provides trustworthy guidance, as do people who have extensive experience with mental health and psychological wellbeing. I’ve heard from hundreds of people who are discouraged because everything they have tried has failed to help. When I ask about their experience, most have been relying on bad advice.

You emphasize that wellbeing isn’t one-size-fits-all. How can someone begin to identify what truly works for them?

Step back from the busy, hectic flow of life and thoughtfully consider what’s going well and where problems are lurking. Is it that stress is building up? Perhaps an important relationship needs to be strengthened? Has your self-worth taken a significant dip? Then, select a simple, evidence-based practice that can help with that need, one that also appeals to you. Then give it an earnest try for a couple of weeks. If you don’t experience noticeable improvement, try another one. The main purpose of my book is to empower people to make good choices about the right practices for them. Readers will find a rich set of great practices as well as lists of other great science resources to help them find more.

What does “lasting wellbeing” mean to you, beyond temporary happiness or quick fixes?

It is building the capacity to live fully during both the best parts of life and the most difficult ones. It’s being grounded and guided through all of life’s highs and lows by core values that create meaning and purpose. And it is sustaining strong relationships and a sturdy sense of self-integrity.

Your book includes a wide range of practices—from breathing exercises to mental strategies like temptation bundling. For someone just starting out, what are one or two simple practices that can make an immediate difference?

There simply aren’t practices that will work for everyone. And no practice will make an immediate difference. Our wellbeing drops bit-by-bit over time. No one burns out from a single bad experience. Stress doesn’t reach severe levels from a few bad days. Similarly, improvements build up over time.

If pressed hard to recommend something, I would say spend more time with people who love you. Close, caring relationships are essential for lasting wellbeing, and the people who love us usually know how to offer the right help. A second practice is stop doing at least one of the things that stresses or burdens you. That might require making hard choices, but if something is consistently depleting your wellbeing, find a way to stop doing it, Better still, take time to learn about your wellbeing needs and then chose practice that research shows can help.

Many people struggle to stay consistent with self-care. What helps turn these practices into habits that actually stick?

Start small. Don’t try to make a big change. Start with a practice that takes no more than ten to fifteen minutes. Be patient. Improvements are happening even if you don’t feel them. This is one of the reasons it is so important to use evidence-based practices: you can be confident that your small steps will add up to the bigger improvements you seek.

You talk about building resilience and cognitive flexibility. How can people develop these skills in the middle of real-life challenges, not just when things are calm? Again, the key is to start small and keep going. It is true that improvements are a lot harder to achieve during difficult periods. Even so, practicing – using a good tool or technique -- will help. And this also points to how important it is to build these capacities into your daily life when things are going well for you. During life’s highs we might think we don’t need to build resilience or cognitive flexibility, but those are the best time to strengthen those capacities.

How do meaning and purpose contribute to overall wellbeing, and how can someone reconnect with those when they feel lost or burned out?

I think meaning and purpose, by which I mean having a great deal of clarity about your core values and orienting your life around them, might be the core of lasting wellbeing. Values guide us through life’s darkest periods and inspire us embrace and celebrate the best times. They are the basis for our strongest relationships and create the solid foundation for a strong sense of self-worth and self-integrity.

Reconnecting with meaning and purpose is also a journey, so again practicing with patience is important. Take time to write down the values or beliefs that are most important to you, the ones that you want to shape who you are and how you live. One way to begin is to reflect on the lives of people you admire. Look for the values they embraced. You will find some of yours there. Then, find a person, or better yet a group, of people with whom you share values or have a common world view. Spent time with them talking about life, what matters, what you struggle with, and how you can live a more meaningful, values-oriented life.

Practices like savoring and mental contrasting are fascinating. How can these small mindset shifts change the way we experience our daily lives?

They help us gain perspective on ourselves and our life by reminding us of what is good and helping us detach from what is challenging. As part of my research I spent time with international humanitarian workers in places like Afghanistan, Gaza, and the Central African Republic, places where daily life is extremely difficult. I was inspired by how many of those workers were able to find joy in even the most challenging circumstances. But, they had to look for those joys and then cherish them.

If someone is feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or disconnected right now, what is one message or mindset you would want them to carry with them as they begin their path toward lasting wellbeing?

Lean on the people who love you! Loving relationships are the bedrock of lasting wellbeing, but we often turn away from them when life comes crashing down on us. When I’m overwhelmed I don’t want to whine and complain to my wife or close friends. But they want to care for me. I’m not being a bother when I ask for help; I’m allowing them to give richly of themselves to support and care for me.

What stands out most in this conversation is not complexity—but simplicity.

Not in the sense that wellbeing is easy, but in the sense that it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.

Small shifts matter.

Consistency matters.

And perhaps most importantly—connection matters.

Again and again, the research points to something we often overlook: lasting wellbeing isn’t built in isolation. It’s strengthened through relationships, values, and the quiet, intentional choices we make each day.

At Best Ever You, we believe that real change doesn’t come from chasing perfection. It comes from learning to pay attention. From choosing what aligns. From giving yourself permission to grow at a pace that feels sustainable and real.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or unsure where to begin, let this be your starting point:

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You don’t need to have everything figured out.

Pause

.Breathe.

Choose one small step forward.

Then another.

Because over time, those small steps become something much bigger—a life that feels more grounded, more meaningful, and more your own.

And when you grow, the world grows with you.

Matt Bloom is a professor emeritus of business at the University of Notre Dame. He has a PhD in psychology from Cornell University. For nearly thirty years, he and his research team studied the well-being of people who work in the helping and healing professions including physicians, humanitarian workers, clergy and public-school teachers. Matt is cofounder of Ritual, a mobile application that offers a living library of evidence-based well-being practices created in partnership with wise guides including Barbara Brown Taylor, Katie Bowler, Steve Kerr, Nedra Twaab, and Anne Lamott.