Montana Made: A Conversation on Grief, Healing, and Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be

There are moments in life when everything you thought made sense… doesn’t anymore. When the path you’ve been walking no longer feels like yours. When the life you built starts to unravel, and you’re left asking questions you can’t ignore.

Those moments can break you open—or lead you somewhere deeper.

In this honest and deeply human conversation, I sit down with Garth Gerhart to talk about his memoir Montana Made—a story that is equal parts raw, reflective, unexpectedly funny, and profoundly real.

What began as a return to Montana after the death of his estranged father became something much more. A reckoning. A release. A rediscovery of identity, mental health, and what it truly means to rebuild your life when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Garth doesn’t offer polished answers or perfect solutions. What he offers is something far more powerful—honesty.

In this conversation, we talk about grief, depression, humor, therapy, relationships, and the messy, non-linear reality of healing. Sometimes, becoming who you’re meant to be doesn’t look like progress. Sometimes, it looks like falling apart… and choosing to keep going anyway.

Garth, your story is both deeply personal and unexpectedly funny. For someone hearing about your journey for the first time, what do you most want them to understand?

I’d like people to understand the journey I took back to Montana wasn’t just about laying my father to rest. It was a culmination of years of mental neglect, suppression of feelings and the biological, addictive and depressive genes I shared with my estranged father. The journey was less about the physical, “boots on the ground”, trek and more about the discovery of the man I wanted to be

Your book begins with the loss of your father and a complicated relationship. What was it like to return and face that chapter of your life?

Going back to Montana after 30 years was surreal. The last time I was there I was a boy who was split between two parents. I relied on my father to provide safely and security, which I something I never really felt with him. As a kid, Montana felt cold and isolating, but returning as a man, I felt that I was capable of providing those things for myself. Even though I felt grief for a life and relationship lost, I felt very excited about the opportunity to redefine what Montana meant to me. 

You describe carrying years of silence, regret, and unanswered questions. How did that shape who you were before this experience—and who you are now?

Before I started therapy and my trip back home, I regarded mental health as more of a supplement to overall wellness. It wasn’t something that I felt was crucial to my everyday functioning and success. However, as 2020 came in with COVID, political instability and the loss of my father, I had a mental breakdown. Suddenly there were too many things I couldn’t control and I didn’t have the tools (outside of anger, humor or neglect) to deal with them. Now, I build my self up with regular therapy visits, medication management and an over abundance of sharing my feelings before things get too overwhelming and out of control.

The title itself suggests a kind of transformation. What does “becoming a better man” mean to you today?

Becoming a better man means treating your mental health as much as a priority as going to the gym or eating healthy. It’s a connection and surrender that, I think, needs to be more recognized and applauded for people my age who battle the stigma of mental wellness.

You’re very honest about grief, depression, and feeling like things were falling apart. What did that period of your life actually feel like day to day?

Some days I could function normally, but most days my head was in a fog and my body was just shutting down. I was sinking each day and there was no way to recover. I became disassociated and absent until I began recognizing the patterns and triggers that were making me depressed.

Humor plays a big role in your storytelling. How has humor helped you process difficult experiences?

Taking myself seriously has never played out for me. Whether it was trying to pick up a girl or talk my way into a promotion, humor has always helped me lower guards and come across more charming than I actually am in social scenarios. I learned in writing for Mad Magazine’s that finding small, relatable quips or gags can open people up for something more heavy. To me, it’s all about engaging with people while entertaining them.

You mention that healing doesn’t always look heroic. What did healing look like for you in real life?

Healing looks like falling. Not in the sense of losing, but more of always having to learn. Hitting a wall and getting back up. Sometimes healing isn’t moving forward - it’s just withstanding the storm until you are dry enough to take another step.

Many people reach a point where the life they built no longer makes sense. What helped you keep moving forward during that time?

My wife was a huge influence for me moving forward. To have someone in your corner that wants the best for you, even when you’ve been the worst to them, is critical for success. Whether it’s a spouse, counselor or sponsor, the support and love of someone makes the journey easier.

Looking back, were there moments of clarity or turning points that shifted your perspective, even slightly?

I’d say that walking where my father lived and seeing all the temptations around that fueled his addictions made me less critical of his lifestyle and more sympathetic to his issues. For years, I thought there was something more I could have done to make him a better man-a better father. Seeing that we shared the same addictive traits and hearing stories about his personality disorders made him very relatable to me and what I was going through.

If someone is reading this and feels lost, stuck, or unsure of where they’re headed, what would you want them to know?

It’s cliche, and I hate to use it but it’s absolutely true. “Tomorrow is a new day.” At the height of my depression I was close to ending it all. I wanted to surrender so badly because I felt desperately misunderstood. Each day living with depression gave way to new insights, new diagnosis and new medication. Had I not moved forward, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to get stable, become the man I wanted to be, or write my book.

At Best Ever You, we often talk about Pause, Breathe, Choose as a way to navigate life with more awareness. How did moments of awareness or reflection play a role in your journey?

Going back to Montana with specific goals and tools brought me so much clarity and insight. Without the benefits of therapy I wouldn’t have been able to accept my father’s passing, be open to accepting my new family, or process the profound impact the entire trip had on me.

What Garth shares isn’t just a story.

It’s a reminder.

A reminder that healing doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. It isn’t always linear. It isn’t always strong or steady or inspiring.

Sometimes it looks like:

• sitting in the fog

• facing what hurts

• learning something new about yourself

• and finding the strength to take one more step

What stands out most is this—he didn’t wait until everything was figured out to move forward. He moved forward anyway.

Through therapy. Through support. Through reflection. Through truth.

And maybe that’s what so many of us need to hear.

You don’t have to have all the answers.

You don’t have to be fully healed.

You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to be willing to keep going.

Pause.

Breathe.

Choose the next step.

Because even in the hardest seasons, something is still unfolding.

Something is still possible.

And sometimes, the most important transformation isn’t becoming someone new.

It’s becoming someone true.

And when you grow, the world grows with you.

About Garth Gerhart

Garth Gerhart is an American humorist best known for his writing and illustrations featured in Mad Magazine. From an early age, Garth was passionate about storytelling. As he grew older, his focus shifted from mere entertainment to engaging and enlightening audiences about the human experience. Amid professional and personal challenges, Garth uses humor and thought-provoking perspectives to share his own experiences with mental illness, offering a cathartic way to heal while inspiring those struggling with loss and grief. He currently lives in the suburbs of Maryland with his wife, five children, and three dogs.

About Montana Made

What happens when the life you built stops making sense? One man finds out the hard, funny, and painfully honest way.

When Garth Gerhart receives word that his estranged father has died, he boards a plane to Montana carrying more than a suitcase—he carries decades of silence, regret, and questions without answers. What begins as an obligation to bury the past turns into an unflinching confrontation with it.

Montana Made is a brutally funny and achingly honest memoir about what it means to come undone in the middle of life. With the sharp wit of a Mad Magazinehumorist and the raw candor of a man in free fall, Gerhart wrestles with grief, depression, family, and the fragile rules we cling to just to keep going.

Along winding highways and in awkward family reunions, through therapy sessions and late-night breakdowns, Gerhart discovers that healing rarely looks heroic. Sometimes it looks like failure. Sometimes it looks like laughter. Sometimes it looks like finally daring to turn around and face where you came from.

For anyone who has ever wondered how to keep living when the life you built no longer makes sense, Montana Made is a testament to the mess, the madness, and the small mercies that can still bring us home.

About Best Ever You

Best Ever You is a global personal development platform founded by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino. Since 2008, it has helped millions of people navigate change, redefine success, and build meaningful, aligned lives through expert insights, bestselling books, coaching, and The Best Ever You Show.

Known for its grounded, practical approach to growth, Best Ever You meets people where they are—with real tools for resilience, clarity, and lasting transformation.

At its core is one guiding belief: you don’t need to fix yourself—you need to align yourself.