Wake-Up Calls: The Painful Gifts That Redirect Our Lives

By Dr. Katie Eastman

Most of us don’t choose change willingly. We don’t wake up and say, “Today I’ll make major changes in the way I operate in the world.” We wait—until we’re shaken.

That shaking often arrives as a wake-up call. A diagnosis. A loss. A betrayal. A moment when the life we’ve been living can no longer continue in the same way.

Wake-up calls are rarely polite. They don’t knock gently or ask if it’s a good time. They disrupt, dismantle, and demand attention. But if we lean in—if we pause instead of panic—they also invite us into deeper truth.

What Is a Wake-Up Call, Really?

It’s not just a moment of crisis. It’s a message: Something is misaligned. Something in you or around you needs tending.

It might be a body breaking down from burnout, signaling that rest isn’t optional anymore. It could be a relationship fraying from years of silence, demanding honest conversation. Perhaps it’s the death of someone you love, forcing you to confront mortality. Or the persistent ache of a dream deferred too long, whispering that time is running out.

For some, it’s a sudden jolt—a heart attack at forty-five that forces a workaholic to reconsider everything. For others, it’s a gradual awakening—realizing that the career they’ve built no longer brings meaning, or that they’ve been living someone else’s version of success.

Whatever form it takes, the message is the same: It’s time to re-evaluate. It’s time to wake up to what matters.

My Own Wake-Up Call

Last week, I found myself in the emergency room, fearing another blood clot. As the medical team moved in and out with updates, I traveled down the familiar “what if” and “why” road. The last time this happened, I was saved by a miraculous set of circumstances that led me to a Seattle dream team of surgeons who removed clots from my lungs—clots that could have easily killed me. Was this a repeat?

Thankfully, no. It was a cyst with similar pain, located right where the old clots had originated behind my knee. But as I received the good news that I could carry on with healthy life activities, I realized this was still a wake-up call.

The reminder hit me with clarity: life changes so quickly. Time is precious and not to be ignored. Sitting in that hospital bed, I was forced to ask the vital question: How am I spending my time?

I have two dear women in my life who are spending their days experiencing the effects of chemotherapy, unable to do what I am still able to do. They are my constant reminders that I have so much I can still do—to make the world better, to bring joy, to share wisdom, and to live fully. But to do so, I have to pay attention to my body. Subtle changes need attention before they lead to emergency room visits.

I will do better. Symptoms come—aches and pains—to send us messages. I will listen more intensely and sooner. That was my wake-up call’s message.

The Courage to Listen

Not everyone heeds their wake-up call. It takes courage to listen. To stop numbing. To quit pretending you’re fine. To acknowledge that the path you’re on no longer serves your soul.

Some people receive wake-up calls repeatedly—job loss after job loss, relationship after relationship ending the same way, health scare after health scare—yet they return to old patterns. The difference between those who transform and those who remain stuck isn’t the intensity of the wake-up call. It’s the willingness to truly hear the message and act on it.

But here’s what I know: the discomfort of staying asleep is far greater than the fear of waking up.

What Might Your Wake-Up Call Be Saying?

Wake-up calls aren’t always dramatic. Sometimes they whisper before they shout. The persistent exhaustion that sleep can’t fix. The relationships that feel increasingly hollow. The Sunday night dread that never goes away. The nagging sense that you’re living someone else’s life.

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to be living?

• What truth am I avoiding?

• If I were to live from my values—not my fear—what would change?

• What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?

• What would I regret not doing if my time were suddenly limited?

Answering the Call

If you’ve recently received a wake-up call—whether it arrived as a crisis or a quiet knowing—know this: You are not alone. You are being invited to realign with your truth, your purpose, your values.

This is sacred work. It requires retreating from the noise to evaluate what’s really happening. It demands the courage to clarify what needs to shift and respond with aligned action. It asks you to explore new possibilities, to allow for changing circumstances, and eventually to turn toward something new.

The path forward isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about showing up fully to the life you’re actually living, not the one you think you should be living.

So take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice what’s true right now. And then—with clarity, courage, and compassion—take the first small step toward the life that’s calling you.

The wake-up call has delivered its message. Now it’s time to answer.

About the Author

Dr. Katie Eastman is a licensed psychotherapist, end-of-life specialist, and co-author of The Peace Guidebook and author of Uplifting: Inspiring Stories of Loss, Change, and Growth, written in honor of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. With over 30 years of experience helping individuals navigate grief, transformation, and purposeful living, Dr. Katie blends clinical expertise with soulful wisdom. She is also the co-founder of The Best Ever You Network’s Percolate Peace Project, a global initiative inviting people to live with deeper presence, compassion, and authenticity. Through her writing, coaching, and speaking, Dr. Katie empowers others to honor life’s transitions and awaken to what matters most.